Boo and my ten year anniversary is barreling down upon us like a baby buggy let loose on a hill. You would think after this many years of marriage and countless others mooning over one another, there would be very few surprises left to discover about one another.

After all, I know the man has the worst smelling gas which he enjoys storing up and letting loose in honor of being in my presence, generally in the marital bed.

He knows that I am the world’s biggest bitch if you put mayonnaise on any food that I am preparing to eat. Especially sandwiches. I have been known to hurl a Subway sub at his head if I discover that gross white lard on my bread. Touching stuff…

I cry during the most inappropriate times, while he laughs uncomfortably like a hyena. He loves shoot ‘em up movies and chick flicks. I love spaghetti westerns and British comedies.

He’s a Ford man and I’m, well, I’m all about how cool a vehicle looks.

He likes all things vanilla, while I love the chocolate. I am a dipper while he is a scooper of dips. Somehow we make things work.

He’s been home since Saturday night and the kids and I have hung on him like burrs on a dog. Yesterday he had to finally pick us off and kiss us goodbye. He will be gone for another month and this time, he will be too far away to rescue my sorry ass if the power goes out, the water runs dry or I drive myself into another ditch.

In other words, I better start wearing low-cut tops and making nice with the boys next door.

Boo hates leaving almost as much as we hate to see him go. It’s always an emotional time, made worse with the knowledge that neither one of us are going to be completely happy until we have each other to pester, poke and ridicule once more.

Lately I have been pestering him for another pet. I’d like a cat for outside and a bird for the family room. He is adamant about no more pets. Apparently, Nixon, the World’s Greatest Dog. Ever. is all the pet my man can handle. No amount of my whining or setting the kids upon him will loosen his resolve.

Yesterday, when he was on the road to his next hotel room, he called me and told me to go outside and check my driver seat. So I trundled off, curious to see what my husband left for me, half thinking it was a melted candy bar or the remnants of a Happy meal.

Instead, to my eternal joy and delight, was a picture of the newest members of my family, to arrive in ten days.

Meet Karen and George.

Front loading LG steam washer and dryer in candy apple red.

Definitely better than a bird. (But I’m still aiming for a cat.)