A couple of weeks back, I was standing with Boo in the middle of a store, staring at a row of lawn mowers and my eyes were slowly starting to glaze over from boredom. All the talk of engine prowess, blade length, gas vs. electric was not exactly what I had in mind when he offered to take me shopping.
Bugger. He totally bamboozled me.
Boo was sold on a shiny looking mower that was self-propelled and a hundred and fifty smackers more than the mower beside it, which was just an old fashioned push mower.
I was all about saving the hundred and fifty smackers. There was a pair of sandals I had in mind and that hundred and fifty would go a long way in buying those pretty shoes, plus some.
After all, how hard would it be to push a lawn mower around the front lawn. We have a ride along mower for the big stuff. Why spend the extra money?
Because it is FACKING hard work, that is why.
I’m too pretty to sweat like this. No wonder Fric and Frac looked like they were going to keel over from exhaustion after mowing half of the lawn on Sunday.
Next time, I’ll keep my big yap shut. There are no sandals in the world pretty enough to push a stubborn, heavy, loud, rattling mower up and down the hills I call my yard.
Yes, I am a twit. And my husband was right. Even if it pains me to admit it.
I am now in the process of trying to kill said new mower so that I can get me a fancy self-propelled mower. Don’t tell Boo.
Learn from me people. Sometimes menfolk really do know what they are talking about.
DangerDoll
Can’t you convince Boo that you’re a delicate flower, unfit for such punishing pursuits?
You know…lie!
Jennifer McKenzie
I’ve tried the “delicate flower” routine. So far, the redneck hasn’t bought it. So, I mow the lawn. I keep trying to speak his language. “Me woman. Me housework. You man. You yard work” but he just grunts at me.
If you tell him he was right long enough, he’ll buy the new mower anyway. And he’ll be putty in your hands.
AZ
Oh goodness, I had a self propelled lawn mower — I’m not very tall and I had to run in order to keep up with the mower. We sold it at a carport sale because it was so difficult to use around trees and shrubs, as long as your yard is flat, square, without trees or shrubs, and you like running at full speed while you mow a self propelled mower is good, but I’d stick with the one you have.
carrie
How do you kill a push mower? I need to know. There must be a self-propelled model in my future too, as I’m tired of sweating like a pig mowing far less than you!
Bon
this is why, when Dave laments our postage stamp of a lawn, i get down and praise Jeebus for its tiny little self. because even as a lazy delicate flower, with a no-gas push mower, it only takes me twelve minutes.
great outdoors, my ass.
perhaps your new mower should get tragically ‘stolen?’
Karen
Push mowers are built waaaay too well these days. I recommend some of that weed wacker twine or some kind of rope or such…. run over a whole lot of it, it will wrap around the spinning blade and if it wraps enough the blade might stop and then you’ll overheat the motor and it will freeze up!
Will probably smell really bad and sound worse. Have a fire extinguisher strategically placed nearby.
Oops, honey, I think I ran over something!
Wendy
I “accidentally” ran over a metal fence post that was sticking up out of the ground one time. Bent the axle. Couldn’t even pull the starter string thing. No fixing that one. Highly reccommend that.
Love your blog. I am so glad I am not the only one in the world with the same problems/feelings/worries/sense of humor/etc.