There are many things I love about the season of Christmas. The food, the company and all the sparkly decorations strewn about. I can over look the massive consumerism and commercialization of a holy event and even the hordes of cranky shoppers, because I see the magic of this time of year.
What I hate about Christmas is the fact my children expect me to have a personality transplant and morph into Ms. Molly Homemaker. A woman who suddenly wears an apron and pulls freshly baked edible goodies out of the oven while wearing a smile.
Apparently it isn’t quite as festive if you are cursing about not watching the time while the smoke detector is screaming and a haze of acrid smoke wafts through the air.
But I love my kids, and I wanted them to have some sort of home-making type of memory with me. (This way when they are deciding to whether to place me in the fancy, licensed seniors home or the shady, back alley discount one, I can play the home making mother card.) So I bought a gingerbread house package. It may not be actually baking, but I’m in the kitchen and food products are involved. Good enough.
It started off well enough. We were all having fun, listening to some carols and munching on the candy. Then disaster struck.
The facking roof fell in. All by itself. I swear, I wasn’t touching it. I wasn’t even looking at it. I was too busy shoving licorice up my nose and pretending to be a walrus. Yet in it went. And it couldn’t just collapse. No, it had to break. Into three pieces.
Why the manufacturers don’t send replacement parts in those damn kits, is a freaking mystery.
Just when I was ready to cry and call it quits, my darling husband stepped in and put on his hard hat.
A hero was born that moment. At least in my eyes. There was still a chance I could pull this off and have one Martha Stewart-y type memory to wave in front of my children when they’re older.
A little bit of sugary goodness, some cleverness from a cute man, a lot of cheerleading from Fric and Frac and me in the back ground still stuffing candy into my nose while keeping a safe distance from the highly breakable cookie house, and viola! Problem solved.
Turned out pretty nice, if I say so myself.
It was a Christmas miracle.
From my family to yours, Merry Christmas everyone!








melissa
yay for daddy!
we use licorice sticks as straws, in my house. therefore, sticking licorice up noses…wouldn’t work if we have to put our mouths on it!
Jennifer McKenzie
Hallelujah!!!!
Hope your Christmas was fabulous. That Gingerbread house looks AWESOME.
Almost makes me want to try one.
Almost.
moosh in indy.
I am so frickin’ frackin’ turned on right now.
I could just lick the chemically laden frosting off your sweet face.
tiger lamb girl
Hope you had a lovely Christmas T:)!!
mamatulip
Nice rack, babe.
Hope your Christmas was as good as a double quarter pounder.
J.
Merry Christmas sweetie!!!
)
(you’re looking vedy vedy sexy too, btw
Jenny
I often wish I could smear white frosting over my bad parts and have it look that good at the end!
*sigh*
I hope your Christmas was very, very, merry.
Jamie
Merry Belated Christmas! I love your glasses, by the way.
Your gingerbread house looks fabulous. I let my 2 and 5-year-old make ours and it is a little sad.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamie_r/2112679883/in/photostream/
Beth
I totally thought “earthquake” when I saw the cracked gingerbread roof. How cool that your hubby fixed it and you guys could continue as planned. It turned out awesome!
And holy shit, next year I’m asking Santa for your boobs. Wait, lemme rephrase that… ;^)
Oh, The Joys
I was all yours BEFORE this post, but now your made gingerbread house skillz and your awesome boobs just made me your slave forever.
Mrs. Mustard
How the frick did your house turn out so well?
Oh yeah, you made it. Have you seen mine? On my blog? It’s an abomination.
Damn Walmart and its stupid gingerbread kits making me feel all superior in my skillz, only to BAM fall apart and make me look like a dumb-ass.