Today is my son’s seventh birthday.
There will be no birthday cake. No party, no silly hats, no presents stuffed in gift bags or wrapped in dollar store paper.
There is no boy to blow out the candles and spit all over the cake.
Breathe.
Instead, there is a mother who quietly mourns and wonders if she will ever find the thread to mend her broken heart.
A mother who mourns long after every one else has moved on.
A mom who has to remember to breathe through the hurt and push past the pain to appreciate what still remains.
Breathe.
It is a lonely day today.
Happy Birthday Bug. We miss you. More every damn day it seems.
Breathe.
SciDi Dad
Happy Birthday, Little Bug.
My wish for you and your Mommy is that she finds the peace she needs, to realize that you are where you are because it is what was best for you, and, even if it is hard to understand, for her as well.
mr. big dubya
Before I started reading this blog, I came across Missing My Bug because I saw in my Technorati links. I read the whole thing – I couldn’t stop. And I’m more than man enough to tell you I cried – I’m tearing up now as I write this. I don’t know why – I know you only through here. Maybe it’s just because I have two small children and there’s some level of empathy – I don’t know. I just feel like I know him and you.
I’ll stop rambling now.
Happy Birthday, Bug.
Jennifer McKenzie
RM, I know you’ll alway grieve him. He was beautiful and now he’s gone. But you’ve turned this into something special. You’ve shared it with the rest of us and made me appreciate my own children so much more.
I only hope that soon his memory will be tinged with less pain and more gentle joy.
Happy Birthday Bug.
flutter
celebrate this day, although you miss him, knowing he is in spirit, gorgeous and whole.
I can’t imagine how hard it is. Happy Birthday sweet Bug.
bubblewench
Happy Birthday Bug!
Thank you for sharing him with me through your blog. He is a very special little guy that I will always think fondly of.
Nancy
Thinking of you today, Mama. And of course of your Bug.
Maggie
Thinking of all of you today – happy birthday bug…
French Fry
Happy Birthday, Bug!
Thank you for letting us all know your Bug. It has enriched my life.
Lori
I like to think if the unthinkable ever happened to me that I’d be able to cope 1/2 as well as you. I don’t think I could though.
Happy Birthday to Bug! And not that I could even have a clue, but could maybe celebrating his life on his b-day help you all? Maybe a cake and some memories talked about. I’m sure it’s been suggested but I wanted to put that out there. I wish hugs could erase the hurt because I’d wrap my arms around you all so tight your ribs would break.
Binky
Thinking of Bug, yourself, and your whole family. Hugs all around.
Ninnie
Happy Birthday to Bug. I know you have probably heard this before. It does get easier. Never goes away at least not in 8 years. But it really does get easier. We just celebrated what would have been our Doodlebugs 12th birthday on December 22nd. He will have been gone 8 years this coming April. Love Hugs and Blessings to you all
Oh, The Joys
Big hugs and kisses, my sweet friend. xo * 100,000,000,000
Jocelyn
Happy Birthday Bug!- It’s ironic cause your cousin took her Skjel Bear to bed with her last night-she didn’t have her Dolly and asked for you instead.
You are still remembered and will never be forgotten.
Love forever Auntie Joe
Liz
Happy Birthday Bug. God Bless You and the rest of your family.
Bethany
Happy Birthday Bug.
Hugs to you and your family, Mama.
verrysherry
happy thoughts–may they come your way. But if you feel the need to cry, do. Happy Birthday Bug, my family did not know you, but we do now and our thoughts are with you and you family!
ali
happy birthday, Bug.
you are most certainly in my thoughts today. hugs.
kgirl
Oh, that picture. I’ll be thinking of you and your Bug today.
A thousand hugs.
verybadcat
Happy Birthday Bug. Hugs to you on this tough day, RM.
jasmine
Reading that was tough to breathe through RM, I can’t imagine living it – and I’m sorry you are.
Happy birthday up there little bug – I imagine a birthday party in heaven’s a pretty good time.