Today is my son’s seventh birthday.
There will be no birthday cake. No party, no silly hats, no presents stuffed in gift bags or wrapped in dollar store paper.
There is no boy to blow out the candles and spit all over the cake.
Breathe.
Instead, there is a mother who quietly mourns and wonders if she will ever find the thread to mend her broken heart.
A mother who mourns long after every one else has moved on.
A mom who has to remember to breathe through the hurt and push past the pain to appreciate what still remains.
Breathe.
It is a lonely day today.
Happy Birthday Bug. We miss you. More every damn day it seems.
Breathe.
lorrie
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the grief you and your family must be enduring.
Firestarter5
Happy Birthday Little Man.
Take care Redneck Mama.
Lisa b
Happy Birthday Bug!
I am sure you will be tickled by those kisses from your mama.
qt
Hugs to you, sister. You will be with him again someday.
motherbumper
Happy Birthday Bug. Mom’s kisses and hugs and buckets of love will find you.
Hugs RNM, lots of hugs from me.
deb
I’m sorry Tannis. Sorry he’s gone, sorry it hurts so bad. Just sorry.
bon
i’m late to this, T…and sorry i missed Bug’s birthday. but the love i would’ve sent goes out today, across the ether…to you and to that proud little spirit who i’m honoured to know, through your words and your love for him.
Kyla
Happy birthday, sweet Bug. And breathe Momma, breathe. If you need me, I’m here, T.
Mom101
Oh T, I can’t even imagine. Wishing the bug a happy bday, and you all the peace you need when you need it.
Loralee
I had to wait a day to post.
I could have written this post down to the name.
The only difference are the numbers.
You know that already.
I hurt for you.
I hurt that your bug didn’t have more years with you as his wonderful mama.
Damn. Here come the tears.
Hug…
kimmyk
Aw. Hugs RM.
That is such a sweet picture of your lil’ guy…
man i remember those wrist breaker knocker things.
Those things were a blast to play with but holy dyin’…when I’d lose control
I’d damn near break my wrist or knock myself out.
Killer ceramic balls indeed.
Hugs again….
metro mama
T, I’m thinking about you and your Bug.
All my love,
Julie
NoahsMom
i like im sure every mother father and human that has read this, i cried, my heart siezed up for a moment…
happy birthday to bug tho i dont know you or him…
and a 5th of your choice of poision…
Angella
I am new here (came via Casey) and cannot even imagine what you are feeling. Cannot. My heart aches for you, and I do not know what to say.
Hugs and blessings to you.
CharmingDriver
Happy Birthday, Bug – Hugs, kisses and kind thoughts to you and your family.
Karen (miscmum)
Happy Birthday Bug xxxx
Laural Dawn
I’m sorry.
I’ll be thinking of you.
My hope for you is that someday his birthday will be a day of celebration, not sadness. But, I know that’s a long way off.
the weirdgirl
Happy Birthday, dear one.
Momo Fali
God bless you. I can not imagine your pain. I hope you were able to look to good memories to get your through it.
LarryLilly
Bug is still here. Every person that knows about Bug continues his existence past his end. He and all the other children that have passed away too soon are kept alive in sharing memories of his existence.
I am further down the road than you, Its been 15 years for me this year, and I can say that you will find that thread to repair your heart, but in truth, you will never really close it off, there will always be a zipper for you to peel open, look in and see him smiling as you are crying!