Today I’m burying my friend.
Well, okay. I’m not actually burying her. It’s not like I’m going to take a shovel and start digging. Let’s face it. I’m too lazy for that, no matter how much I loved Loreen.
But I will be there to say my final goodbyes to a well-respected and beloved friend. Who also happens to be a member of my family. She was my husband’s aunt.
She was my friend.
I shall miss her.
So today I will put on my dress slacks and a pretty top and slap on a smile, no matter how sad I feel on the inside because Loreen’s life deserved as many smiles as I can muster.
And when I walk into the same cemetery that my son currently rests in, I will not think about the sadness of the day or how I will never be able to laugh with my friend again or how the last time I stood on that hallowed ground I had wished for the world to end.
I will not think of past pain or future heart break.
I will not think of lives cut short.
Instead, I will look around and see all the love that surrounds me and take comfort in the knowing that my Bug has a new friend to play with and love him while he waits for us. For me.
I will find amazement in how life goes on and how a life well lived can bring comfort and joy to those left behind.
I will honor my friend with my smiles. And maybe a lame joke or two.
Because I know she will appreciate it.
I’ll be back soon.








J from Ireland
So sorry for your loss, thoughts from here are with you.
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants
Loreen and Bug are having a great time together! Great job remembering that.
Big love to you. I love your outlook and your strength.
sending you love & bottles of wine, alli
Angela
Your strength and insight is so amazing and inspiring. Of course Bug and Loreen are together hanging out. Hope you get through the day okay. Please take care.
kgirl
alav ha shalom. may your loved ones rest in peace. and get into all kinds of trouble together, holding hands.
motherbumper
Oh T, you are amazing with that humour and strength you wield – really amazing. Loreen and Bug are totally keeping company and having the place in constant smiles and laughter.
xoxo and real ones next week.
Aunt Becky
Oh sweetie.
*sighs*
I’m so fucking sorry for your loss.
Kay
Hugs sweetie! Hope all goes well for you today!
tiger lamb girl
{{{{hugs}}}}
Maria
My condolences.
Joanie
I always “lurk”….tonite I have to say you rock…. I love reading your blog….Joanie
Ellieranc
(((Hugs))). I’m so sorry for your loss.
SusannahS
((Hugs)) I had a very difficult time when we buried my grandfather in a plot that was supposed to be near my brother…actually it was more like a black comedy because I couldn’t find my brother’s grave marker and I started hyperventilating thinking that someone had stolen it, and the funeral home guy finally told me that the green astroturf carpety thing was covering it. Grief makes it hard to think sensibly.
Do something nice for yourself tonight. And hug Fric & Frac extra tight.
Deeg
Oh my…I don’t know what words to say that will make this day any less painful on you but I wish I knew of some. You seem to be taking it the best way possible and I envy your strength….you amaze me on many levels but your ability to try and make something like this as positive as possible rather then as miserable is truly something. xoxoxo
pgoodness
My condolences – your strength is inspiring.
andi
I’m so sorry, Tanis. Take care of yourself. xoxo
Sarcastic Mom
You’re always an inspiration. How’d you get such a great head on those shoulders?
Just dropped some peace and love in the thoughts mail. Hope you get it soon.
jen
oh honey.
lately you know, something is different in your writing. a shift. it’s subtle. it’s real. i can’t wait to find out more in july.
FishyGirl
Peace to you and your family, my friend.
LAVENDULA
well Tanfunerals are so sad but try and celebrate a life that i hope was happy and well lived
Carrie
Thinking of you –