I’m suffering from some form of the plague.
The kind that sucks out all your energy and replaces it with copious amounts of snot to drip out your nasal cavities.
I don’t have any kleenex. And I just discovered there is no more toilet paper other than the six sheets left on the roll in the main bathroom.
I may have to resort to wiping my boogers on my sleeve or stuffing tampons up my nostrils. With my luck though, the cotton will expand and shoot out my ears, thereby pushing out what little brains I have and leaving me a lifeless, snotty zombie who drools on the couch, tugging at the string hanging from her nose.
Good times.
Please excuse me today, while I look for surfaces to wipe my mucus on. I’m thinking my husband’s pillow case looks mighty soft right now.
(There may be some slight passive aggressive tendencies I don’t really want to explore too deeply in that last sentence. Must stem from him being healthy and alone, while I’m slowly and painfully dying from some unknown rare disease while single handedly being responsible for the survival of his children.)
I’ll be back when my snot dries up. Or when I muster enough energy to drive to the store and beg the pharmacist to supply me with decongestants and kleenex. And maybe some buttwipe.
You never know when you are going to need more than six squares after all.
That’s a scenario no one wants to live through.
Feel free to entertain yourselves in the comments. Better yet, join me in my woes. Whine. Tell me your troubles. I can’t be the only gal out here in blogland whining, or at least wanting to whine. Spill it. What’s your beef?
Or you could just send me pictures of yourselves. Preferably clothed. But beggars can’t be choosers.
Vicki
Ok, I can’t complain too much. I am in the process of trying to get preggers after having twins 14 months ago. I know, I must be crazy right? What can I say? I want a girl…I know I’m just begging for trouble. I got kinda queasy (sp? not sure at the moment) in the shower this morning but won’t be able to test until next week. The heat is killing me here in VA. Had a few storms last night but nothing major. No flooding here in the mountains…YAY!! I have to say I loved the pic of the view from your porch. I would love to see that everyday. I hope you get to feeling better. I’ve had sinus problems since I was little so I feel your pain. I hope everything’s going good with the adoption!! Best wishes for a speed recovery!!
Poli
That was a funny post!:) No matter how ill you are you always manage to make me laugh:) I hope you feel better soon though!
Ellie
Hey, join the whining club. Jump in the whining pool — the water’s fine! I’m trying to curtail my whining by taking my sister Jacquie’s advice: Be the Buddah. Here, look:
http://meandyouandellie.blogspot.com/2008/06/be-buddha.html
Hey, it might help…..
Anna
Ooh, do make sure all your blogs are safely saved on your computer, so one day, when your kids are parents themselves and wonder what it was like for their mom to be a parent you can let them read about it. I love your writing and sense of humour.
Kay
I am pissed when a doctor gives you a life saving medicine in my case, insulin, and tells you to see them in 30 days but the med only lasts 25. And it turns out it is the ONLY insulin you HAVE to have a prescription.
ame i.
Here’s my whine list:
I turn 40 in August.
It is hot and humid here in West TN. The upstairs central unit has to run all day to keep the temperature below 76.
My aunt’s dog died yesterday, as did my late-husband’s great-aunt. I probably won’t be able to attend the funeral in Rhode Island.
I had to show my 10 year old daughter how to use a sanitary napkin yesterday. I also learned yesterday that my “net nanny” isn’t doing the job. The evidence: a pop-up on DD10′s computer featuring a dancing spangle-wearing ho.
danielle
It’s like you just issued a divin blessing to whine upon me!
Where should I start…I turned 36 saturday and no one in my family remembered, I spent the day moving a coworkers stuff and our UFC hosts canceled on us, we decided to go to the movies instead and missed the first representation, decided to have dinner and go for the second and missed that one too.
Sunday it was cold and clowdy, I woke up with a hangover from my coworkers home made wine and we learned that we would be homeless
( read living in a trailer behind the information center) for the whole month of July, the SPCA charges 20$ a day for dog boarding and my son ate the last of the rabbit’s carrotes so I had to go to the grocery store at 8:45 pm.
Apart from that I have been snotty and getting nose bleeds ever since we moved to AB but I try not to complain because my son no longer gets asthma attacks since we moved. I feel old and tired and I miss my best girl Amy.
Love your stories hope you feel better soon and BTW tampons don’t swell up that much when you put them in your nostrils… ( read the part about nose bleeds ) Thanks for sharing. Danielle
Kait
I think I might win this particular round –
I’ve been having menstrul cramps and bleeding for six (count em, SIX) weeks. No, I did not just give birth (never have had any live births…). There is absolutely no reason for my body to be doing this. Four doctors visits, seven prescriptions and countless bleed thrus later, I’m still going strong.
Oh yeah, and I’m 21 and fairly newly married. Newly married enough that being told to abstain from sexual activity with my husband (because it could be causing more problems) is F-ING TORTURE!!!
So I’m sorry about your cold. But damn it – who do I have to bleed on to get some answers?!
Kait
I meant to correct the spelling of menstrual. Ooops!
SleepyNita
Pfftffffttt.
3 weeks ago when we cam back from Las Vegas I got the flu and a double infection in my ears and throat. Not so fun, but to top it off I was 12 weeks pregnant and not keeping anything down so I was put on bed-rest for 3 days and could not take any of the antibiotics – so I am still getting over the ear and throat part of the problem.
Being on bed rest with a 2 year old and an equally sick husband is. not. possible. Ever. Dumb. Idea. From. the. Hot. Doctor.
Tonight I go work a 13 hour night shift at the hospital. Fun times hey?
What high school/jr. high did you go to in the city did you go to? There seriously can not be that many Tanis’s out there could there…???
Katrina
I am with ya…. I have a head cold turned chest cold and I am blowing my nose and coughing up crap every few minutes.
Hope you feel better soon!
moosh in indy.
I have to sleep with you for three whole days. I have to fly out on a plane to SanFran all by myself and leave my kid at home. I have to go to a conference with a bunch of other women who write about their lives on the internet. WAH WAH WAH.
The ticket has been bought I AM ON MY FRIGGIN WAY. No way out. Bummer.
slouching mom
hope you’re feeling better by now, t.
as it happens, i did just post a picture of myself — clothed — today.
Rebecca
I was up all night with my dog (soul mate)– a 165 lb St. Bernard. After developing ridiculous hot spots (leaking pus and ooze) I went to the basement and got ‘The Cone’ to put around his neck prohibiting him from biting at his sores until we could get him to the vet the next morning.
I was up all night.
Husband and other dog snored. St. Bernard panted and panted and crashed into walls as “The Cone” is the size of a large overstuffed beanbag and prohibits him from fitting through a doorway. After whining to my husband to shut the hell up and stop snoring, I gave up and tried to sleep on the couch. My dog just stared at me, scared to move in “The Cone” and panting and drooling. After a total of 2 hours and 10 minutes of sleep I climbed off the couch and rushed to get ready so as to be the first person (and dog) at the vet. In my rush I didn’t see the giant puddle of drool my panting dog left on the kitchen tile. I ran through it. My legs flew behind me and remained parallel to my ass as I bell-flopped to the hard floor landing in said giant puddle of drool on my hip, elbow and face. I began to moan. My husband was there in a flash as he thought, “the refrigerator had fallen over.” Apparently I need to lose weight too, as I sound like the damn fridge.
Brusied, cut up, burned and aching like I haven’t before, I have made it through two days since the fall. My dog is doing better. I still can’t lay down and my right side throbs. I am constantly reminded that I am getting to be an old refrigerator.