I’m suffering from some form of the plague.
The kind that sucks out all your energy and replaces it with copious amounts of snot to drip out your nasal cavities.
I don’t have any kleenex. And I just discovered there is no more toilet paper other than the six sheets left on the roll in the main bathroom.
I may have to resort to wiping my boogers on my sleeve or stuffing tampons up my nostrils. With my luck though, the cotton will expand and shoot out my ears, thereby pushing out what little brains I have and leaving me a lifeless, snotty zombie who drools on the couch, tugging at the string hanging from her nose.
Good times.
Please excuse me today, while I look for surfaces to wipe my mucus on. I’m thinking my husband’s pillow case looks mighty soft right now.
(There may be some slight passive aggressive tendencies I don’t really want to explore too deeply in that last sentence. Must stem from him being healthy and alone, while I’m slowly and painfully dying from some unknown rare disease while single handedly being responsible for the survival of his children.)
I’ll be back when my snot dries up. Or when I muster enough energy to drive to the store and beg the pharmacist to supply me with decongestants and kleenex. And maybe some buttwipe.
You never know when you are going to need more than six squares after all.
That’s a scenario no one wants to live through.
Feel free to entertain yourselves in the comments. Better yet, join me in my woes. Whine. Tell me your troubles. I can’t be the only gal out here in blogland whining, or at least wanting to whine. Spill it. What’s your beef?
Or you could just send me pictures of yourselves. Preferably clothed. But beggars can’t be choosers.
Rusti
Oh geez – you must not have seen my blog today (that’s okay though – it’s boring and whiny – whiney – whatever) but here – I’ll give you the condensed version…
9 weeks Preggo – constant all the time nausea which is turning into afternoon/evening vomiting (TMI? I apologize. really.) my super-sensitive Preggo smelling powers have the scent of my deodorant making me gag (who knew Degree Shower Clean would be so dang NASTY?) and I’m tired of being a whiny (sp? wtf) little punk who feels like poo all the time… oh, and the best part of my day – I finally got rid of a three-day-long sinus headache to go along with the rest of me wanting to die…
they tell me it will pass… and I’m sure it will… but before I rip someone’s head off (possibly my own?) – this I don’t know…
but hey – after tonight the severe storms and tornado warnings should be gone… for a couple of days at least… and although there were 13,000 people in the greater Lansing area (or was it southern Michigan? I can’t remember) without power – they’re saying it should be restored by Wednesday… sucks to be all those people… we got lucky (so what am I bitching about again??)
ugh. I hope you feel better soon!
Rusti
ps – I really shouldn’t be bitching… we’re having temps between 80′s & 90′s – and we have electricity which means A/C and unspoiled food in the drige and freezer… shame on me! we have had severe storms for the past three days though – and only 3 fatalities in the state – as far as I’ve heard… double shame on me!
Mrs Kitty
that’s so funny. I JUST wrote a post about my allergies and my constant state of combat with them for tomorrow! ugh. It’s the worst when your fighting with your own snotty body.
Hope you feel better.
Erin
I have an ear infection and feel like my head is going to split in two. Bad times, I tell you, bad times. Perhaps I’ve got a Greek Goddess growing in there and she just wants to get free?
Backpacking Dad
No pictures; you’re just going to have to convince me to make the 20 minutes drive to BlogHer if you want to see me.
jellyhead
Oh dear. You are in a bad way. There’s nothing like an awful flu to suck all the joy out of life.
You may have not felt up to blogging much, but your commenters have been extremely entertaining! I hope they cheered you up, too.
Lots of jellylove to you my sweet
habanerogal
must be something about this Alberta weather or maybe we had a chance meeting at Sobey’s or something and one of us forgot to use the cart wipes I would be using all of the stuff that is too small for the kids to wear then when you are done call Goodwill and they will come take it away. I feel your pain T
beck
I have a touch of some sort of nasty nausea-exhaustion bug. And The Boy threw up IN THE BATHTUB last night. Is nothing sacred!
Beckynsc
I feel for ya! I had it about a week ago. I was in bed for 3 days. I don’t normally get sick. But this one kicked my arse!
kittenpie
I’m just working on getting rid of a cold, too – sore throat, snot, the whole works. And of course, it’s not helping the return of my voice any that I ran a street fair Saturday on a day wtih a heat alert and had to read stories out loud over traffic, nor that today I had to give presentations to three groups and then, stranded by a no-show taxi, walk the half-hour back in an EXTREME heat alert… Am totally wiped out. Know how you feel. Would be happier if I didn’t have two daycare classes to visit tomorrow for more storytimes, also a good twenty minute walk each way, at least. Gah.
Liza
OH YEAH? Come to MY blog today. I went to the eye doctor thinking I was getting a checkup and ended up with SURPRISE EYE SURGERY! She gave me incredibly painful injections of local anesthetic IN THE INSIDE CORNER OF MY EYELID, then burned my lower “punctal ducts” (the thingies that drain excess tears into your nose/throat) shut with what looked like a soldering iron. And yes, of COURSE I posted a picture of the damage. Looks like I’m sporting two hellacious styes, I’ve got BLISTERS inside my eyelids, and they ITCH. But if they hurt this much now I don’t even want to think about how they’d feel if I was dumb enough to rub ‘em. Whiiiiiine…
Carol Van Rooy
Thank goodness germs can’t travel through the screen. I’d just gotta over a nasty two week cold… and it wasn’t fun.
Despite your ill-feelings, I was wretching with laughter at your post.
Feel free to pop by and say hello to another Canadian blogger.
Carol
Mrs. Schmitty
OH NO…feel better! And yea, use the pillowcase.
motherbumper
I totally had a sunburn when I woke up – I totally forgot to do my back – AHHHHH! – that’s my Monday bitch. Being recently sick myself, I feel for ya’ T.
Get well soon.
M
My whining complaints this evening? I have 20 kindergartners that WON’T SHUT THE F UP! But I can make it for 4 more days!!
Devilish Southern Belle
Feel better soon! I am in the throes of the same illness. I just may follow your tampon suggestion. I don’t care if it pushes my brains out!
October Moon
Been lurking on your blog for awhile now and have finally decided to come out of hiding. First just let me say, you rock! Your blog makes my day.
On to the whining…I HATE the heat! So what happens? I start menopause early and am having the worst hot flashes and nightsweats ever. About every 20 minutes I break into a sweat that would drown a goldfish, after feeling like a blowtorch has somehow made its way into my traitor of an aging body burning me from the inside out. Oh, and it’s been 100 degrees for the past 4 days. Just shoot me now.
Hope you feel better soon!
Kelley
Sweetie bottle that snot and give it to the kids as hair wax.
God it is funny to watch them sniff it and go ‘hmmmm this smells familar’…
Email me woman, I am dying here waiting…
Sherendipity
I’d offer to come over and make chicken soup, but I’m off to hit up all the Shopper’s Drug Marts in the Niagara Region and see if I can get my hands on a neti pot.
Feel better soon!
BadPxy
First off, Redneck Mommy, you rock.
Secondly, all the whining is about pregnancy and menopause!
Just to change things up, I just finished three years of law school, racking up 98K of debt, I’m supposed to be studying for the bar exam, but I have suddenly hit a massive wall of depression that makes me have zero motivation because I don’t care about the bar exam, I don’t care about being a lawyer, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life!
Good times.