***I don’t know how I found my next guest poster, but I’m sure glad I did. Reading Slick is like having a conversation with my very favorite redneck cousins at our annual family reunion. Except I suspect my family members are prettier than Slick. And may have more teeth. Grin.***

After deleting numerous pictures Tanis sent me and ignoring her constant IM’s, I finally caved in and decided to guest post for her. Being a redneck myself, although not a shitty Canadian one, I figured it wouldn’t be so bad helping her out.

I mean c’mon….I have 4 children so I’m actually excited about getting to participate in something called a “Weiner Week” that doesn’t produce another mouth to feed!

I’m just not big into the whole waving my willy around.

Anymore.

Anyhow, speaking of willys…let’s get to the meat of this post.

A while back, I picked up one of my daughters from school. On the way out, I noticed she was clutching a folded piece of notebook paper.

“What you got there Sweetie?” I asked.

“A love letter.” she replied.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I look down to see the grinning face of my 9 year old princess.

“Can I see it?”

She handed me the paper.

I saw no stick people holding hands, no “I Luv U’s”, and no hand drawn flowers….

Apparently “Brandon” is so stuck on himself, he wrote his own name 50 times, handed it to my daughter, and called it a love letter.

As I waited for her to buckle herself in, I thought to myself that if these are the only kind of love letters that she ever gets, I’ll be one happy Dad.

Once home, I enlisted the help of my 14 year old son.

“Jay, do you know who this Brandon fella is at her school?”

“No, Dad.”

“Find out, report back to me tomorrow.”

As sweet as it was, I ain’t havin’ NONE of it. Not with my little girls.

I flop around like a fish out of water when my wife even mentions bras, make up, and the grown up women stuff in their presence.

The less they know, the better.

Well, unless it’s about panty liners because….you know, my furniture isn’t paid off yet.

Other than that, my little girls aren’t EVER gonna grow up!