I’ve been a little under the weather here lately. As in my soul has been slowly leeched out of my body by nefarious villains of the universe and the joy I like to spout off about has been sucked out of my body similar to how one happily slurps a strawberry milkshake through a too small straw.
It’s been tough slogging through the crap here lately which is why I asked my favorite wieners to step in and why I haven’t been posting regularly on my blog.
I’ve put off posting for weeks now because quite frankly, I have nothing humourous to say. And that is the whole point of this blog. To find the humour in my life, to remind me to find joy where ever it’s hiding.
Except I must have counted a bit longer than I was supposed to when my eyes were squeezed shut and my joy tip toed off to play a game of hide and seek. I’m still wandering around seeking while my joy is hiding in the trees. I never was any good at that game. Damn.
We’re having some adoption woes and I’m afraid they are getting the better of me. That is all I can say on that subject without getting spanked. I’m bound by legalities and oral contracts to keep my big yap shut.
It’s been tough dealing with the emotional roller coaster I bought tickets for while my husband has been off flirting with hot babes out in the oil patch. I don’t care what he says, those toothless hairy chicks are sexy. I defy anyone to prove me wrong.
But my gorgeous and terribly sweet Boo is riding his white steed (or in his case a dirty blue GM) and galloping his way back into my arms as we speak, er type. Nothing like having the comfort of massively muscled arms wrapped around a girl to make the world seem brighter and bring my joy back out of hiding.
Only this time, darlin’, could you please remember to put the lube and the sexy toys away after we use them and not toss them onto the chair beside the bed?
I’m really tired of trying to explain why there is a penis shaped vibrating toy beside our bed. I think the kids are onto us and aren’t buying the whole “they are for Daddy’s bad back” explanation.
Just so you know.
As for all of you, my sincerest apologies for being a slack ass these last couple of weeks. Stay with me and I promise I’ll have my funny back before you can say ‘vibrating back massager.’
I know, I suck. Or at least, tonight my husband hopes I will.
Wink.
crazymumma
Silly you.
You so do not suck.
‘cept when it counts.
I hope those adoption woes get better hon.
Jamie
Well for a not funny post this was pretty funny!
I wish you all the best!!
O'Neal
Don’t worry hun, it just means you are NORMAL! I’d like to see a do it all Mommy that never ever falls into a funk, we all have our blahs whether they last a few minutes or a few months! I think I’m breaking the record for the year category right now!
FADKOG
I had a boyfriend once who tried to convince me that toothless chicks were, in fact, not sexy, but that the sucked. My arguement was how can toothless sucky girls NOT be sexy? Heh.
Know I’ve got tons of good thoughts out there for you, and I hope these hills your climbing up are reduced soon. You know how I feel about this. If you ever want to unleash, I’m around, and I have all my teeth.
shonda
Oh Tanis, I think your husband knows he doesn’t need to hope on that. Isn’t it a sealed deal?
regs
Tanis,
I just wanted to let you know that although I’ve only been reading your blog for a while, I really connected with EVERYTHING you’ve had to say. I haven’t experienced everything you have, but you have given me tremendous insight into what my husband has and is feeling. He also lost a son a few years ago. I appreciate your candidness (is that a real word??). Thanks for that. It’s helped more than you’ll ever know.
I also am a mom to 5 and step-mom to 2, and have a similar sense of humor. I laugh until I pee (of course……
) everytime I read your stuff. You have a gift to make us realize that the shitty stuff that happens on a daily basis, is, in the long run, just hilarious material to laugh at.
Anyway, I just wanted to say keep trudging along….I don’t have even the slightest idea how much you’re dealing with, but I do know that sometimes life just plain SUCKS (and in those moments, that’s when good-lookin’ hubbies seem to want you to also….hmmm.) and you want to just tell the world to farfegnuggen off. How somedays you have to just focus on actually taking one breath, then another, just to survive. Those are the days that I have read your stuff and felt just a tiny bit better about the torture (I mean treasure) I call my life..
I’ll still be here, checking in everyday, reading and feeling your pain/joy/rage/etc. Till next time, take care and thanks! Good luck to you on everything!
Capt jeff
ok… like Rasputin, i survived the initial assassination attempt…some of you, in the ‘perv. blogg’ thought your feeding me to the African crocodiles would be the just end of me…ha!!! we here in New England are a resilient breed…
writers block is good for the writer…it forces a writer to tap into the archive of unemployed neurons deep in the mind…think of what Dr. Freud would do… look at ink blots, analyze dreams, talk you into running around in a skinner box…
autumn is a time of transition, changing seasons, weather, offspring going back to school and whatnot…
actually, i think you did a pretty good job at writing a lot about nothing…
preTzel
T – Don’t ever apologize. We’ll all be here when you are ready to come back. Hang in there sweetie – just when we think we’re being handed lemons someone rushes in to add ice and sugar and we’re refreshed with lemonade.
(((hugs)))
Capt jeff
preTzel… you forgot the Vodka…
tina L
That seems to be going around a lot lately must be something in the air. I have only been a fan of yours for a few short weeks and will be waiting patiently for you to get your groove back.
Undomestic Diva
Hadn’t seen much of you on Twitter lately and was wondering how you’re doing. {{good vibes}} your way.
Kelley
Need me to come on over and slap the funk outta ya? Or just pour the drinks.
Cause I don’t pour drinks for NO ONE, being the Diva that I am, so just me offering to do it (knowing full well that I won’t but whatever) is pretty awesome and therefore makes you awesome in my wake.
Sending huge smootches to your hot self. Even if you do have teeth.
witchypoo
I totally get the not wanting to write when yer whupped. Dealing with government types is often like talking to woodpiles. You get about as much understanding from them.
just beth
Ah, Tanis. That sucks. What a bum time you’re having. My good thoughts are with you.
xo
b.
ML
Definitely something in the air…feeling (and reading a lot about) the funk around the blogosphere lately. It will be scarey when everybody kicks back in – as I know you will. Until then, take care of yourself. I, myself will be overeating and drinking too much until I come up with funny things to say again. To the funk! Bottoms up!!
Rhea
What a funny “not funny” post. lol Husbands always want think their wives should suck, it’s a fact.
Oh, The Joys
Wishing I could wrap my arms around you and envelope you in joy.
I’m so sorry to hear the sh*t just keeps dragging on and on. You don’t deserve that.
Much love,
J
Christy
nah, the vacuum sucks… and so does this damn hurricane knocking on Houston’s door…
happy thoughts coming your way!
Dorothy Stahlnecker
Sometimes it’s about a recharge that the brain and body needs. I’m glad your wise enough to know when not to push. Sit back and just listen to daytime television…the mindless soaps and talk shows they’ll give you enough stuff to write about for years.
You must need an emotional break and that’s just fine..we’ll be here when your ready…
Dorothy from grammology
http://www.grammology.com
Anissa@Hope4Peyton
Hope that big burly arms help center you and the raunchy welcome home sex puts you in a coma. Not a real coma, but like a happy dazed aftermath coma.