I am not a people person. I know. You are shocked. Heh. Let me clarify. I love people. All people. Just not when you stick more than three of them in a room with me all at once.
Crowds freak me out. I start to sweat and twitch and my left eye develops a nervous tic. I generally end up standing alone in a dark corner, with my eyes squeezed shut and my arms hugging my body while rocking back and forth humming soothing lullabies to myself in order to block out the chaos.
I tend to be a LOT of fun at weddings and parties. Ask my husband. Heh. That’s me, the life of the party.
For this reason, I do my damndest to avoid large crowds. I don’t go to fairs, I don’t enjoy public sporting venues and parades? Well, they just freak me right the fack out with all the partying people and blow up balloons dancing in the streets.
There is one thing that can draw me out of my private little sanctuary and entice me to brave the crushing throng of a crowd and ignore the hordes of people around me.
That one thing is a good concert. Which is now only slightly ironic, since I’m technically half deaf and can’t hear the actual music over the din of roaring fans.
Still, music is a passion of mine and it’s the one thing guaranteed to pull me off my arse, off the couch and into a stadium.
Not that I’ve been to a lot of concerts. I have to be really enticed to get off said arse, shower, slap on the ole war paint and elbow my way through a packed stadium to pay disgusting amounts of money for the pleasure of being jostled, stepped on and hollered at to attend a concert.
There have been some memorable concerts though. The very first concert I ever attended was with my mother. It was a folk/country artist playing at a small venue. There was no screaming fans, no tossed panties. But the intimacy of being able to reach out and touch a live performer while he wove his magic with song and music for the audience charmed me and forever cemented my love for live music.
My first real rock concert didn’t happen until I was 14. My best friend and I twisted our parents arms into buying us tickets to watch Janet Jackson thrust her pelvis all over center stage. I don’t remember much about the actual concert, I just remember the intoxicating feeling of feeling grown up enough to sit in a packed stadium without our parents and watch this famous chick shake her little booty around the stage.
There have been other equally memorable concerts I had the pleasure of attending. Each one magical in their own way, each one knitting their magic into my subconscious and leaving behind sweet memories after the lights are turned up and the crowd slowly exits from the building.
One concert will always mean more to me than all the rest, one concert alone will always captivate and enthrall my memory. I had been waiting more than half my life to see this person live and in person and I began to despair that it would never happen.
Just when I was about to give up hope, life nudged me, winked and tossed me a bone.
Elton John was coming to town. I tend to be a laid back type of gal, but let me tell you, when I managed to get a hold of two tickets to his concert in a nearby city, I squealed like the young school girl I once was, discovering the magic of Tiny Dancer.
My parents were equal parts amused, ashamed and slightly horrified by my teenage crush on a flamboyant 70′s piano man. While other kids my age were rocking out to New Kids on the Block, I was sitting alone in my room belting out the chorus of Bennie and the Jets.
What can I say? Sequins, big glasses, small hands and a piano do it for me.
Since my discovery of Sir Elton, no other musician has been able to hold a Candle in the Wind next to him. (Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.)
His music has coloured the tapestry of my life like no other artist. So the excitement to see him perform just mere meters in front of me was well worth the annoyance of fighting the throng of traffic, getting raped for parking, having my feet stepped on, enduring the people behind me kicking my seat repeatedly and smelling the manly odour emanating from a rather large man sitting next to me who very obviously was unconcerned with the length of his ear and nose hairs.
It was a sweet moment in my life, those two hours and forty minutes I caterwauled along with the crowd while trying not to spill my beer. While it may not have been the flashiest concert I’ve attended, it will always be the best concert I had the privilege to attend.
The only thing that could have made the evening more enjoyable, other than Sir Elton gazing out into the audience, locking eyes with me and dedicating his entire play list to his number one fan Tanis, while beckoning for me to sprawl out on his piano as he pounded out the tunes, was if I had remembered to bring my damn camera.
(Hey. Everyone has a fantasy. Don’t knock mine.)
I own four freaking cameras. All very expensive cameras, including one highly coveted and worth more than my life, DSLR. Yet, did I remember to bring even my tiniest point and shoot?
No. Did I remember to even bring my damn camera cell phone along? No. I blame this on the panic attack I had shortly before leaving for the concert and realizing it wouldn’t just be me alone listening to the sweet crooning of my favourite piano man. Damn you other Elton fans for not allowing me the luxury of a private serenade. Daaaaammmmmn.
But because I am thoughtful, and I know people who know people, I want to make sure my blog readers never experience the same crushing disappoint from realizing they forgot to smuggle a camera past concert security thugs and come up empty handed when reaching for a camera to immortalize a magic moment for themselves.
While I can’t guarantee you will remember to bring the damn thing, I can provide you with one. Drop me a comment, tell me about your favorite concert moment or simply just say hi and you will be entered to win one brand spanking new, never been out of the box, Canon PowerShot SD1100 IS digital camera. Retail value approx. $199.00 USD.
*Accessories, battery and memory stick not included. Sorry folks. You’re on your own for that.*
The contest will remain open until Midnight, mountain standard time, Sunday, September 21, 2008. After such time I will randomly draw a name out of a hat and ship the camera, which has been sitting on my coffee table for a week now, off to the lucky winner and out of my damn house.
Please note, I will not be held responsible for any dirty photos or badly angled shots exposing double chins or nose hairs taken with said camera.
But I wouldn’t mind if you showed them to me. Wink.
Good luck! And don’t forget to include your email address so I can contact the lucky winner!









Abby
Nothing like a contest to make a long-time reader/lurker into a reader/commenter…if only for one post.
FishyGirl
I saw lots of hair bands back in the 80s, but my most memorable was AC/DC because I was deaf for a few days afterwards. It was awesome.
Heather L.
This is kinda sad, but I have only been to one concert. It was one of the first dates my husband and I went on before we were married. We saw Chris Ledoux.
Heather P.
Okay, so it’s not really a concert (saw lots of those as a teenager, mostly country folk), but my FAVE musical event was when I saw Donny Osmund play Joseph in ‘Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’ in Chicago. He was sooooo dreamy. Seriously..when he was lifted into the air and sailed through the…okay, okay, yeah, I know – total cheese-fest.
HOPE I WIN! Thanks for the chance!
Nicole
I’m not gonna lie, I’m a concert whore. The first concert I went to was NSYNC. Yes, one of those horrible boys bands from the 90′s. Hey, I was ten. I wound up sitting in floor seats depsite the fact that my mom had purchased nose bleed seats. This past summer, I went to Warped Tour and the lead singer of the band Gym Class Heroes, Travis McCoy, came out into the crowd. My friends and I pratically raped him but it was paid off. At the end of the show, the drummer threw his drumsticks to my friends and I, and my friend caught it. And I suggest seeing John Mayer in concert if your a fan of his. Seeing him play the guitar like that is surreal. Not to mention he interacts with the crowd which is always a plus.
Jan Dorothy
Hi, I clicked over from Anissa’s blog and thought I’d join in. I went to a few concerts growing up but my favorite was this summer when I took my son and his friend to a SKIA fest day of Christian bands (the growly kind.) They got right up front and “even got sprayed by the lead guy spraying his water, COOL!”
He’s been initiated!
Hope I’m not too late, I’m in the central time zone.
Jolene
Bare Naked Ladies, I LOVE their shows!
Sophie VW
NKOTB!!! at 12, that was the best concert a girl could go to…and on my own, wearing a black hat, you know the one if you were into the New Kids!
BTW, love your blog.
Kim
The last concert I went to was Projekt Revolutution with Lincoln Park headlining in July. I took my 15 year old daughter and 2 of her friends. The scary part was I knew all of the songs, which I attribute to hosting a houseful of teenagers every weekend. The first of this years, I joined a bunch a “middle agers” at a Def lepard, STYX and Reo Speedwagon concert. That was the best!
the planet of janet
i’m embarrassed to say that i have seen barry manilow (twice!!!!)
but the most memorable was probably neil diamond when i was in college. he gives a ROCKIN’ concert.
Jennifer
Elton John was my first concert ever! 1997–I took my boyfriend. Love it!
Tammy
Ahhhh, Jon Bon Jovi, when he had the big hair!!!!
Jessie Z
I actually have that same problem. I never remember my camera. I went last year to see my favorite band and we were pretty far back from the stage so I thought a camera would be useless. Wouldn’t you know…they “flew” over the crowd and landed on a makeshift stage literally 10 feet away from me. I HAD NO CAMERA! I will never forget that…awful. Hope I win this one. =)
sdg
Hello Ms. Redneck. I honestly am a camera fanatic. I own a vintage Minolta X-700, along with three different lenses and two flashes, which I maintain and use on a regular basis, but have yet to move to digital. I have just never been able to justify the expense to myself. I DONT however take to important things like concerts though
. BUT…. i do work backstage at yearly stripper competitions and a digi-camera would sooo make my life easier, as I am waay too shy to actually take *that* film in to be processed.
Hope I win, and thanks for the chance even if I dont.
Jamie
Let me just say, I LOVE READING YOUR BLOG! You have seriously made me pee my pants a couple of times. Anyway…my favorite concert moment was going to see a comedian in concert with my best friend. She laughed so hard and so much that she actually pissed her pants right there in the auditorium. I will never let her live that down!!!
Megan
Favorite concert memory- Steve Miller concert when I was a senior in high school. We got so turned around and lost in the parking lot and thought we would never find the car. The tour bus drove right by us, and it would have been totally cool if I could say they stopped and invited us in to party….but no…we were still just lost for like 2 more hours. Oh well, we had some great fun and drunken conversations trying to find the car that night.
Sherri
My first concert was Ozzy Osbourne when in 1982. I was 10 years old and went with my friend and her dad. At the time I thought it was the coolest thing in the world!!
Cindy A.
Ah, my first concert – remember it like it was yesterday. Bon Jovi opening for .38 Special. Actually, at 14 years old I couldn’t give a crap for .38 Special, although I have developed an appreciation in my old age.
No, that day, it was all Jon!
heather
the rolling stones
Donna, aka Yellow Jeep Blonde
My all-time favorite concert was Billy Joel in 1980 doing his Strangers Tour. It was absolutely the best! Good times. Good times.