I am not a people person. I know. You are shocked. Heh. Let me clarify. I love people. All people. Just not when you stick more than three of them in a room with me all at once.
Crowds freak me out. I start to sweat and twitch and my left eye develops a nervous tic. I generally end up standing alone in a dark corner, with my eyes squeezed shut and my arms hugging my body while rocking back and forth humming soothing lullabies to myself in order to block out the chaos.
I tend to be a LOT of fun at weddings and parties. Ask my husband. Heh. That’s me, the life of the party.
For this reason, I do my damndest to avoid large crowds. I don’t go to fairs, I don’t enjoy public sporting venues and parades? Well, they just freak me right the fack out with all the partying people and blow up balloons dancing in the streets.
There is one thing that can draw me out of my private little sanctuary and entice me to brave the crushing throng of a crowd and ignore the hordes of people around me.
That one thing is a good concert. Which is now only slightly ironic, since I’m technically half deaf and can’t hear the actual music over the din of roaring fans.
Still, music is a passion of mine and it’s the one thing guaranteed to pull me off my arse, off the couch and into a stadium.
Not that I’ve been to a lot of concerts. I have to be really enticed to get off said arse, shower, slap on the ole war paint and elbow my way through a packed stadium to pay disgusting amounts of money for the pleasure of being jostled, stepped on and hollered at to attend a concert.
There have been some memorable concerts though. The very first concert I ever attended was with my mother. It was a folk/country artist playing at a small venue. There was no screaming fans, no tossed panties. But the intimacy of being able to reach out and touch a live performer while he wove his magic with song and music for the audience charmed me and forever cemented my love for live music.
My first real rock concert didn’t happen until I was 14. My best friend and I twisted our parents arms into buying us tickets to watch Janet Jackson thrust her pelvis all over center stage. I don’t remember much about the actual concert, I just remember the intoxicating feeling of feeling grown up enough to sit in a packed stadium without our parents and watch this famous chick shake her little booty around the stage.
There have been other equally memorable concerts I had the pleasure of attending. Each one magical in their own way, each one knitting their magic into my subconscious and leaving behind sweet memories after the lights are turned up and the crowd slowly exits from the building.
One concert will always mean more to me than all the rest, one concert alone will always captivate and enthrall my memory. I had been waiting more than half my life to see this person live and in person and I began to despair that it would never happen.
Just when I was about to give up hope, life nudged me, winked and tossed me a bone.
Elton John was coming to town. I tend to be a laid back type of gal, but let me tell you, when I managed to get a hold of two tickets to his concert in a nearby city, I squealed like the young school girl I once was, discovering the magic of Tiny Dancer.
My parents were equal parts amused, ashamed and slightly horrified by my teenage crush on a flamboyant 70′s piano man. While other kids my age were rocking out to New Kids on the Block, I was sitting alone in my room belting out the chorus of Bennie and the Jets.
What can I say? Sequins, big glasses, small hands and a piano do it for me.
Since my discovery of Sir Elton, no other musician has been able to hold a Candle in the Wind next to him. (Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.)
His music has coloured the tapestry of my life like no other artist. So the excitement to see him perform just mere meters in front of me was well worth the annoyance of fighting the throng of traffic, getting raped for parking, having my feet stepped on, enduring the people behind me kicking my seat repeatedly and smelling the manly odour emanating from a rather large man sitting next to me who very obviously was unconcerned with the length of his ear and nose hairs.
It was a sweet moment in my life, those two hours and forty minutes I caterwauled along with the crowd while trying not to spill my beer. While it may not have been the flashiest concert I’ve attended, it will always be the best concert I had the privilege to attend.
The only thing that could have made the evening more enjoyable, other than Sir Elton gazing out into the audience, locking eyes with me and dedicating his entire play list to his number one fan Tanis, while beckoning for me to sprawl out on his piano as he pounded out the tunes, was if I had remembered to bring my damn camera.
(Hey. Everyone has a fantasy. Don’t knock mine.)
I own four freaking cameras. All very expensive cameras, including one highly coveted and worth more than my life, DSLR. Yet, did I remember to bring even my tiniest point and shoot?
No. Did I remember to even bring my damn camera cell phone along? No. I blame this on the panic attack I had shortly before leaving for the concert and realizing it wouldn’t just be me alone listening to the sweet crooning of my favourite piano man. Damn you other Elton fans for not allowing me the luxury of a private serenade. Daaaaammmmmn.
But because I am thoughtful, and I know people who know people, I want to make sure my blog readers never experience the same crushing disappoint from realizing they forgot to smuggle a camera past concert security thugs and come up empty handed when reaching for a camera to immortalize a magic moment for themselves.
While I can’t guarantee you will remember to bring the damn thing, I can provide you with one. Drop me a comment, tell me about your favorite concert moment or simply just say hi and you will be entered to win one brand spanking new, never been out of the box, Canon PowerShot SD1100 IS digital camera. Retail value approx. $199.00 USD.
*Accessories, battery and memory stick not included. Sorry folks. You’re on your own for that.*
The contest will remain open until Midnight, mountain standard time, Sunday, September 21, 2008. After such time I will randomly draw a name out of a hat and ship the camera, which has been sitting on my coffee table for a week now, off to the lucky winner and out of my damn house.
Please note, I will not be held responsible for any dirty photos or badly angled shots exposing double chins or nose hairs taken with said camera.
But I wouldn’t mind if you showed them to me. Wink.
Good luck! And don’t forget to include your email address so I can contact the lucky winner!
Luanne Kerr
Best concert ever was Kenny Chesney with my 13 year old son back in June. Also went to see Kid Rock in his hometown Detroit this past summer. Kick Ass!!
shannon
I Love concerts.
Pearl Jam at a small local theatre was my favorite.
I am going to see the Raconteurs tonight!
Michele Sanders
Tanis, You are too funny. I have enjoyed reading your blog (while pretending to work). I am glad you enjoyed your evening out and am sorry you have no mementos to remember it by.
Keep the thoughts coming!
preTzel
Sadly I’ve never been to a concert. I can’t go. They freak me out. I’m a crowd phobe and the thought of a thousand sweating bodies trampling me stops me from going. I’m glad you were able. I love Elton John as well. *swoon*
Jennifer
Hi! Favorite concert? It’s so hard to pick! Maybe Lollapalooza 88 or 89? I went with my high school boyfriend and we got lost on our way back and took a (not-so) scenic tour of Chicago.
Melody
The only concert I have ever been to was Reba McEntire. My older sister bought the tickets and actually took me instead of one of her friends. It was awesome.
amanda
Elton John and Billy Joel were my first concert. It was during Elton’s Lion King era, so clips of the movie were shown during Can You Feel the Love Tonight, and oh my gosh – at 8 years old, it was the closest thing to an orgasm I had experienced.
Lori
I saw Elton two years ago, it was a great show. My best concert moment was from Salt N Pepa a million years ago. I fainted bc the crowd was so overwhelming! But, they took me to the VIP section for the rest of the show and I got to see lots of cool people.
trishk
I was 18 before I saw my first concert. That’s what happens when you grow up in the middle of no where. It was Kansas and it rocked!!
Jamie
I had a moment too – not Elton John although I do like him no for me and my best friend it is Bon Jovi – I NEVER thought I would ever attend one of his concerts and when we got to it was a dream come true!!!
Anglophile Football Fanatic
I actually met Sir Elton at the airport in Nice after he’d done some gambling in Monaco. His luggage arrived in NYC with EJ emblazoned ALL OVER it – custom Louis Vuitton, of course
Melissa
I have seen Elton John twice – once in Vegas on his Red Piano tour and once recently here in New Hampshire, where it was just him and his piano. I actually preferred just him and the piano because he’s such an amazing pianist and you almost lose that when he’s with the band or in a big production.
Anyways, cameras = lots of lovin in my book!
cb in nm
Hello! I’m not a big country music fan, but a friend got excellent George Strait tickets and invited me along. I knew every single song – that is what makes his concerts great – the memories that the song takes you back to.
Jean
The concert that meant the most to me was the James Taylor concert I attended this summer. Dear Husband has been a lifelong fan, as have I. He however, has never missed one of his concerts when he’s toured near us. This year however, has been tough financially and there was no way we would have been able to come up with the money.
His amazing sister sent the tickets to him as a bday present. We were sooo excited and thrilled that DH didn’t miss his “perfect attendance record”. The weather was beautiful and the songs were amazing. It was a perfect concert (not to mention the seats were great
J
Wow! I loved Candle in the Wind. I always think about Princess Di when I hear it.
My favorite concert was my first. I was 15 and my mom let me skip the last two days of my freshman year of high school to drive to Deer Creek and see OzzFest. Needless to say, I had a load of fun, lots of partying, and left with a newfound respect for some Black Sabbath.
I hope I win! I never win anything.
Katy
I don’t really have a favorite concert moment, but I can tell you about the last one. It was not so much fun. It was a Dave Matthews concert and my friend had WAY too much “fun” in the parking lot before the show even started. I spent the entirety of the concert taking care of her. We didn’t even try to sell the tickets because she kept thinking that she’d be alright only to get sick again everytime she stood. It was sad because we paid so much for the tickets…one went to waste and the other I used to get in so I could buy water. The kicker is that I’m not even a fan…it was her idea. I was broke, but spent a bunch of money on tickets and gas and I didn’t even see a show!
Sorry to be such a killjoy. It’s a very painful memory…I’m sure a sweet camera would make it all better!!
BoB
Grateful Dead, 1974, Dillon Stadium Hartford CT…outdoors, came on 15 minutes early, played for 6 hours.
Love your column…too funny, but REAL (I hope)
Angelica
Hmm… I’ve only been to two concerts, but they were worthwhile memories.
1.) MC Hammer-me at 7- gold, shiny, baggy pants in the audience gladly Hammer-dancing my little heart out (my dad only took me because I would have about died if my much older brother went and I was left out). Only later did I realize that I attended a concert of not only Hammer, but Boyz II Men AND TLC. The only thing I knew was that at some point (way past my bedtime?) that yes, it in fact was Hammertime.
2.) Spice Girls- This was awesome for a 12 or so year old. I mean way back, nose-bleed in the grass seats aside? I had the best time staring down at the tiny British singers and pretending they would totally come all the way back to tell me I could come backstage and maybe sing a number lol. And in keeping with the “Wannabe” theme, I totally dressed up as Mel B.- and at that point not only did I bear a pretty passing resemblance but as I was the ONLY african-american Mel B impersonator I got more than a few compliments. And I am forever grateful to the parents for sitting through what I now realize was pretty much ear-bleeding torture for them.
Evelyn in Mich.
Confession time. I’m a 42 y.o. woman who has NEVER been to a concert! Yes, it’s sad. And quite frankly, it’s damned embarrassing too.Hanging my head in shame, but keeping my fingers (and toes and eyes) crossed for the camera drawing.
Evelyn
Anissa@Hope4Peyton
Ok, I hate to even admit it, but the best concert I remember was Hannah Montana last year. I had both of my girls with me, we were in a rocking hosted box suite and we were damn near close enough to have her glittery little sweat balls flung onto us. I, for one, could care less about HM, but the looks of awe on my two little girls’ faces were priceless and they would scream and sing and dance and it thrilled me to see them love the live show.