For a nanosecond of my life I worked at a television station. This was before I gave birth to Bug and I was still young and impressionable with stars in my eyes and had a ‘kick me’ sign pinned to my forehead.

I loved the people at the television station but it didn’t take me long to realize I would rather bathe in a vat of acid, rip out my tongue and beat myself with it and then volunteer to model nude in for a college art class before spending my days anywhere near a camera.

Like pygmies out in the wilds of Africa or New Zealand or where ever the heck it is they live, I believe a camera sucks out my soul and leaves another double chin behind in return.

Still, when the good ladies at BlogHer asked me to tape a short piece for their new program, BackTalk, I couldn’t think of a valid reason to say no resist.

Surely this wouldn’t be more embarrassing than waxing poetic about beaver fever, cock rings or warming lube.

I’m not talking about the ole cooter yet again and I would keep my clothes on.

(Although they did expressly state I was not to show my boobs and to try and keep it clean. Such prudes. Wink.)

Go ahead and watch. It’s totally work friendly. I promise.

Not bad, right?

They TOTALLY edited me to make me sound more rational and intelligent and less Tanis-y.

Can’t say I blame them.

Here’s what you didn’t see:

I totally should have worn lingerie while doing this.

Heh.