There comes a time in every parent’s life when they have to take their kids on a road trip.
Today is my day.
I’m facing a six hour drive, alone in the vehicle with a dog and three children and no husband to provide a buffer between us.
It’s going to get ugly.
I do this, because well, I have rocks for brains. And because Jumby has yet to meet his cousins and his aunt and it’s time.
I do this because having 13 children, six adults and one dog under one 1200 square foot house’s roof sounds like some bizarre insane torture technique fun.
I do this because I am determined my status as the world’s coolest auntie.
I do this because Boo’s family love me more and if we ever divorce I get custody of them and he can go find a new family.
Today, I’m hitting the road with my Go Girl in hand and wind at my back.
In six hours from now, I’m sure I’ll be banging my head against the side window while my children try and claw their way out, looking for an escape.
Wish me luck peoples.
And if you wouldn’t mind, share with us all your most horrifying road trip stories. It’ll amuse me when I am finally able to free myself from the vehicle and hide from my children with a bottle of wine that had better be waiting for me when I get to my inlaw’s house.
Have a great weekend everyone and pray for me.
Domestic Goddess (in training)
My God! Alone?!?!?! Are you on high doses of prozac or just hooked up to an IV of vodka???
I leave a week from today with three kids and a husband and I am pretty sure the tension has already set into my shoulders and neck. By arrival in Michigan, I will be cement.
Mrs. Schmitty
Good luck! (you are gonna need it) But have a safe trip and try not to leave anyone by the side of the road. If it gets too bad…make fric and frac run behind the car, that will help rid them of any excess energy.
sam {temptingmama}
Damn you’re brave. I won’t even leave the house with two chldren and no support. LOL
Have a safe and fun trip my friend!
Kat
18 hour drive with my dad, my 2 kids, 1 cat and 1 dog. We are heading down the side of a mountain on a road with a 6% grade slope (the ones with truck run offs on the side) and it is raining. My then 18 month old screaming her head off. This is hour 10 of the trek. My dad looks over at me exasperated and says “Can you get her to be queit?” Cause you know 18 month old kids just do whatever you ask them to do right?
TJ
Driving home from the Oregon Coast 2 summers ago, my son just 4 months old had decided he’d had enough of driving and being in his car seat. He screamed one of those blood curdling infant screams non-stop for at least 2 hours of the 4 hour trip. It forced us to stop at nearly every rest stop on I-84 to get him out and attempt to calm him. I needed a serious drink when we finally got home that night.
WickedStepMom
Three kids + two adults + one very tiny Ford Focus = Clown Car from Hell! We were driving north to Bear’s parent’s home, it is roughly a 6 hour trip. I took the younger two girls to the rest room but the oldest girl refused to go. So, we got back on the road. After 10 minutes and the start of blizzard like conditions, the oldest decides she must now go to the rest room. So here we are in a tiny vehicle, her younger sisters bouncing around in the back seat and the old child screaming at them to stop moving because “I HAVE TO FREAKING PEE!”
Twenty minutes later, we find an exit. We try to exit but we get half way down the ramp and have to stop because of an accident on the ramp. This makes the oldest dissolve into tears. Her two younger sisters start singing “Do you have to pee now? How about now? Yet?”
Twenty more minutes go by before we can even move. When we get to a McDonald’s, oldest jumps out of the car and races to the rest room. When she gets back, she declares “From now on, I am going pee when you guys go!”
Jennifer McKenzie
Worst road trip ever? Mmmmm. Well, actually there have been a couple. Mostly over Highway 1 between Legget, California and Fort Bragg, California. And it involves a LOT of puke. Yeah, I don’t think even I could make that story sound funny.
BEST road trip was when I was able to give some poor guy a ride who was stranded with his wife and three kids in a van on Highway 1. There’s no cell reception, no call boxes, nothing. I gave the guy a ride and then the Redneck and I let him borrow my car to go get his family. Normally, I’m pretty oblivious or too scared to take a risk and help someone out. But this time, I did it and my kids got to see it. They still remember that trip.
I usually end all arguments with a very very loud CD player with Linkin’ Park, Metallica or Evanescence.
Erica
The kids will appreciate the roadtrips when they’re older! I love my parents horribly for driving us 5 girls around North America and Europe.
Mitzi
Good luck! I’m glad it’s you and not me! Can’t wait to hear how it goes.
bekah
there are five children in my family. We used to take family trips in the econoline van to visit our family in florida. That is a 21 hour drive if you dont stop.
My youngest sister used to try to brush her older sisters hair while in the car…with a lolli-pop. I think there was blood.
SciFi Dad
How about the one where I ate a bag of sugar-free candy before the trip, never noticing the “may have laxative effect” warning? Would that story interest you?
Jen
You are a brave woman! I only have one and since I’m such a chicken, I don’t have a story to share yet.
But, when I was 10, on a drive from New Jersey to New Hampshire for a family vacation with my parents and younger brother, my parents ACCIDENTLY (so they say) left me at a rest stop.
When we stopped, they asked if I had to go to the bathroom and I said no, that I was just going to get a drink of water. But, the line was actually longer for the water fountain than the bathroom so I decided to pop in there.
My Mom returned to the car and never thought that I would NOT be in the backseat and my lovely younger pain the rump brother didn’t offer up anything like, “Jen isn’t in the car!” Or, “Shouldn’t we wait for Jen” or “Where is Jen?” Now, granted he was only 5, but, still!
When I came out of the bathroom, I saw the family station wagon had pulled away and was halfway down the entrance ramp to the highway.
Good stuff.
They eventually came back and it only took a moderate amount of therapy for me to recover.
LOL.
Good luck! As long as you don’t leave your kids by the side of the road, you’re in good shape.
Laura
We drove from my parents’ house in a suburb of Detroit, MI to my grandparents’ house in Dayton, OH for Thanksgiving. Took about 3.5 hours. On the way back, my grandmother packed us turkey sandwiches and other food, “Just in case.†We laughed at her silliness. We were an hour from home in Toledo & got caught in a snowstorm. They closed the freeway. We hunkered down in the last hotel room available in Toledo. There were people sleeping in the lobby. The nearby restaurants ran out of food. The party store ran out of people food & cat food. We ate out turkey sandwiches & fed some turkey to our kitten.
Whenever we leave a relative’s house now, we say, “Do you have your turkey sandwiches with you?†You never know when you are going to need one.
MichelleSG
2 things and your life will be golden. Portable dvd player and Nintendo DS. You won’t hear from your children for years. Trust me, it works.
mandy
Our kids (to date) have been good on road trips. We are blessed that way. (Cursed in others.)
Good luck and enjoy the wine at the end!
Lori Hutcherson
I can’t even PRETEND that I’d be interested in trying that again at my age. When my son was 3, we took a trip. It was only 240 miles across state. Apparently he had to pee and wasn’t able to communicate that fully. So from the front seat of our car…I hear…water running. I was like…wtf? O.o I turn around and my adorable 3 year old is peeing in my McDonald’s cup. Yeah…there was Coke in there. I am SO glad I realized what he was doing BEFORE I took the next drink. *sigh* Those were the days.
Sarah
Just keep feeding them, that seems to work. I just randomly throw snacks into the backseat and it helps keep the roar to minimal levels sometimes.
Hmm, travel stories. I could tell you the one where my son screamed and cried for 10+ hours straight the entire length of the trip. Or about the time he decided that he didn’t want to be in his carseat anymore and shimmied out of the straps and crawled into the front seat with me as I was flying down the interstate. Or the one where the only way he would ride quietly for 10+ hours was if he could watch Jon&Kate plus 8 over and over and over again. Can you imagine listening to that and not wanting to gouge your eardrums out? Since he is only 2, I think I’m banning car trips until he is old enough to drive.
Have a safe trip!
Rebecca
I seconded the portable DVD player suggestion! We drive to Northern WI (about 3.5 hrs) almost every weekend in the summer with four kids and two 100 lb. dogs.
Once that thing is playing, I don’t hear one word from the kids unless it is “Can you put in a new movie please.”
Good Luck!
Dani
Best of luck with your brave drive.
The worst road trip story I can think of has to be when my parents and my 90-year-old grandmother were driving from New Jersey to Virginia for my college graduation. Apparently, Grandma’s doctor had just prescibed her a new, stronger water pill and she decided this was the week to start taking it, however, she didnt think enough to take her old water pills out of her pill container. So she took them both. When they finally got to Virginia (several hours after they were supposed to) my mother informed me that they had to stop every half-hour so she could use the restroom.
Just Meee~
“Go Girl”….tell me about THAT ! ! ! I never heard of it… and am in awe !
Can’t wait to hear about THAT ! ! ! !