They say bad things happen in threes.
I want to know who ‘they’ are and why they deemed three the magic number. Why couldn’t it have been two? Better yet, why not just one? Isn’t one bad thing enough? Do people really need added insult to injury when they are dealing with something horrible already?
Whoever ‘they’ are I’d like to meet them. I have a cowboy boot I’d like to stuff up someone’s arse. It may not make the bad things go away but I’ll certainly get a little pleasure out of it.
It started with a phone call. My husband was in a work accident and was gassed with a lovely mixture of carbon monoxide and hydrogen sulfide. Just as I was dealing with the scary prospect of growing old alone I fell on my back. My already injured back.
As I lay flat on my back, gasping to regain the air that was knocked completely out of me, I stared at the big Northern blue sky and asked “Are you f*cking KIDDING me with this shit?” It was right about then that my lovely dog, Nixon the World’s Biggest Rat Fink, came over to me, licked my face and turned around to take a poop not three inches from my head.
Did I mention I was carrying the little rat while I fell and all I could think of as my feet went over my head and gravity got the better of me was, “Protect the Dog!”
He’s just damn lucky I didn’t land on him to cushion the blow.
Just when I thought life would not hurl any more rotten tomatoes at my still throbbing head, when I came home to discovere I have no water.
I mean, I have water. 2300 gallons of freshly delivered water sitting in my cistern 100 feet from my house. But for some reason I have no water coming into my house.
So I have a ridiculously ill husband who can barely stand up right without losing his breath, a bruised tail bone and pinched sciatic nerve from my Olympic-like splat onto an ice patch and no water to drink, flush toilets with or even shower.
It’s good times around here people. Good times.
I’ll be around. Mainly away from the computer. Bent over, whining and in pain while scraping snow into buckets to boil just so the kids can flush the damn toilets.
Life. It doesn’t get any more glamorous than this.
That is, if you define glamour as desperately needing a shower, a back rub and a maid.
Sigh.
Lynn (Walking With Scissors)
Hopefully the rest of your life will go off without a hitch – Lord knows you deserve it after everything you’ve been through in your life. (((hugs))).
Linda
Good Lord woman! First the horse, then the husband and now your back. Good thing you weren’t carrying Jumby. Take a breath and a glass of wine. I’ll try funneling some good karma your way.
Amy
Wine may not fix everything but it makes things foggier to live thru.
Hope things get better for you soon!
Angella
Oh, Tanis. That sucks.
I concur with those above – wine will definitely help
SciFi Dad
FUCK. H2S is nothing to joke about. That shit can kill you. FAST.
I hope your husband feels better soon.
Oh yeah… your back too.
Peter
At least you still have snow to boil. Think if you were in southern Ontario and had no trace of it left at all! Good thoughts to you and Boo, here’s to a quick recovery.
Badass Geek
I heard some guy named Murphy say that a while back, just after he secured a trademark for something called “Murphy’s Law”.
Avitable
If I lived near you, I’d totally come fix your water, and by fix your water I mean pay somebody to fix your water for you.
monstermash40
And if I lived near you, I would totally give you a massage and clean the house
I hope all is better soon.
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)
So glad your husband is home and on the road to recovery. I hope you get there soon, too. At this rate, you two could make this into a contest to see who can get up and moving faster in the event you come close to making each other crazy and you need to retreat.
mandy
I hope everything turns around soon. Or can straighten up soon. Or at the very least, be flushed away…
Barbara
Blimey – you poor things, I hope you both feel better soon and you manage not to kill the dog. I agree with the first couple of comments. Wine is definitely the way forward. Although I wouldn’t recommend flushing the loo with it.
Julia
Hi, glad your husband is home. Hope you feel better soon.
jennielynn
Tanis, I think it might be time to sacrifice a virgin.
mythoughtsonthat
Hey, it’s April Fool’s Day!
MommyNamedApril
i’m so sorry. wish i could lend a hand :-/
Heididonlon
Oh thank God he is ok! My husband works in a fill plant here in the states, i know how dangerous that stuff is!
I’m hoping your back feels better fast!
Lots of love from the states sent to you in the frozen north!
Domestic Extraordinaire
That sucks.
Glad that you all are on the mend-but you don’t the powers that be know that you all would mend quicker with water.
Hugs.
KK
I take comfort that I wasn’t the only one visited with 3 yesterday. Dog has the squirts, UTI, & car breaking down stranding me on side of busy highway. I’m still looking for the brighter side…
Brea in Texas
(((hugs))), T! Hope your backside and your husband are feeling better soon. I have no opinion about the melting the snow thing, because I’ve never been in snow (Texas gal here!), but that sucks that you have no water. Prayers that everything is right in short order!