Comments on: Rednecking Out on The Band Wagon

By: I’m a bad mother after all

I’m a bad mother after all — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 11:20:12 +0000

[...] that pressure and defend their parenting with tongue-in-cheek humor.Â I thought that Catherine and Tanis and Jaelithe had covered the topic thoroughly, and I was right on board with Kristen’s [...]

By: Sherry

Sherry — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:44:40 +0000

I feel for you. Only you could turn something so heart wrenching into humor. And I relate. My divorce turned ugly and a custody dispute ensued. Meaning my parenting was also scrutinized, though probably not quite as much or the same way. Still. No fun. Now I have been diagnosed with ADD and I am learning my limitations. I cut back (or never start) all the hyper-parenting and just go back to the basics.
I love your blog.

By: mrsmaddog

mrsmaddog — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:53:05 +0000

You are one of the few bloggers I can stomach, because you don’t sugar-coat who you are or what being a parent is like for YOU.

I was raised in the 70′s with NO mother, at all. My aunt told me that it was “better” having no mother than having my mother around. I still don’t know why she said that.
I was terrified of becoming a mom, because I had no role models. Dad cooked about four meals besides eggs. Cleaning meant dishes and vacuuming, as needed. I honestly thought I’d end up feeding my kids PBJ or spaghettios every day!
I became a single Mom at 25. At my Dad’s funeral, two years later, my older half-sister actually came up to me and said that she was newly married and expecting, and “that’s the correct order” to do it in. This was about the second conversation she and I had ever had since I was a little kid!
She had no clue how it was I ended up being a single mom, nor how I was faring. She just KNEW that the BEST way to raise a child was with a mommy and a daddy and wedding vows. Sometimes, it is. Sometimes, NOT. For ME, at that time, WAY NOT. (I know, shoulda, coulda, woulda…)
The point is, mothers are always being labeled and judged. The only fathers who get labeled as bad? Deadbeats, or abusers. Period. Work 95 hours a week? That’s being a good provider. Wipe a butt once a week, wow, he’s sharing the responsibility. Okay, I exaggerate. Do men care if others call them good or bad? NOPE.
I have had many moments when I’ve worried about raising my kids. I will never be the “crafty” mom, the “recipe” mom, nor the “starbucks” mom. Sometimes I am the mom that will let a bad word slip, laugh at my kid’s naughty behavior, miss a school event, or forget to hide the Easter baskets. I have also refused to work on my kids’ birthdays, holidays, or when they were sick; and have gone through hell and back to keep a roof over their heads and keep them safe.
I do know that if my DD ever has to choose between being a single mom or being in a horrible, screwed up marriage, she would know that she can count on me to back her up, and let her become the best mom she can be.

By: Hollie

Hollie — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:09:00 +0000

while raising a special needs child and after the death of a child you learn not to buy into labels. I know all about the labels.

I am actually glad that blogs are filled with every kind of mom, diveristy is good, the bad, good and ugly all have our place.

By: Robin

Robin — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:27:34 +0000

I can’t believe that nobody took you up on your offer to call you the world’s twattiest mom. (waaaaaaaaay back in the comments)….so there.

Keep rockin’ it lady….