When my friends Catherine and Kate decided to embark on a cross-Canadian blog tour they offered to haul my sorry arse along with them. Me, being the not so swift on the uptake type of gal, eagerly agreed and jumped at the opportunity to go on a roadtrip with my bestest heart friends.

What I didn’t really think about was why they were offering me a chance to tag a long.

Turns out that after conquering Eastern Canada with three children three and under, they were looking for a third set of arms to help corral the little criminals they call their children. I am nothing but a glorified baby wrangler. Or really, as Emilia calls me, “the chick who won’t let me do what I want to.”

I am the Enforcer. The one who Catherine and Kate use to threaten their children with when they start to go a little wild. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard them tell their children, “Don’t make me make Auntie Tanis go medieval on your butts.”

So much for being the soft cuddly aunt every child wants to play with.

I suppose the whip I carry on my hip gives me away every time.

Still, obtuse or not, I eagerly jumped into the back seat to set upon my road trip adventure with my lady friends. One look at the ride GM Motors so graciously provided us with was all the convincing I needed to join our traveling caravan.

Wouldn’t you want a chance to ride in something as pretty as this?

Except jumping into the back seat is not so damn easy when the middle seat is filled with three car seats and the back seat is stuffed full with luggage and diapers. After some creative luggage cramming thanks to my darling Boo who was just as eager to see me gone as I was to be gone (that’s true love for ya) I had about two square feet and a seatbelt to call my own.

The only problem?

I have to climb over the back seat through the hatch and duck through the luggage in order to get to my little haven at the back of the luggage. It’s been christened ‘the naughty seat‘ by the little criminals who think they are soooooo cute.

Let’s just say the bellmen at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge and Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise think I am extremely bendy.

And I really am.

When I’m not contorting into fantastic positions, or showering naked with two other women, or flashing my Blue Bush to innocent  spa victims, I’m chasing small children, posing for pictures in front of majestic mountains or shoveling Ketchup chips into my mouth from the back seat of the lovely Yukon Hybrid we are traveling in.

Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise.

Tomorrow I’m on the road to Vancouver.

I’ve got stories to tell you about the bloggers I’ve met so far but I’m kinda drunk and I need to phone my husband and  breathe heavy in his ear.

Heh.