So my internal clock is a wee screwed up after making the switch to Pacific time after living my entire life on Mountain Standard time.

Which meant I woke up this morning thinking I over slept and it turns out it was only 6 a.m. Farcklenuts. I would have crawled back into bed but I was sharing it with a kitty who liked to lay on my head and while that may sound sensual and arousing, I was a little tired of breathing in pussy hair.

(Oh google pervs, I live to serve you. I can’t help myself with the innuendo.)

So what does one do when one is up before the roosters crow and the entire house hold remains asleep except for one teeny tiny three year old who is determined to make as much noise as possible so everyone rub the sleep out of their eyes prematurely?

If one is me and has no sense of shame, one opens up the laptop computer and turns on the camera.

Welcome to my life on the road.

I hope Motherbumper and Herbadmother are enjoying their restful slumber.

Bitches.

I would like the record to show that it’s damn early in the morning, I haven’t had a shower yet and there may be a distinct odour wafting up from my underarms.  Yet I am throwing vanity (and common sense) out the window to show you how a true redneck auntie bribes a child into silence in the early morning so her friends can get their beauty sleep.

Yes, I threw myself on the altar of self-sacrifice this time and dammit, I’d better get a cookie for it later on today.