Comments on: Honesty http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2009/09/30/honesty/ Sat, 11 Feb 2012 08:13:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Billie http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2009/09/30/honesty/comment-page-8/#comment-28900 Billie Sun, 11 Oct 2009 02:36:39 +0000 http://theredneckmommy.com/?p=1408#comment-28900 Tanis, I wanted to come on and let you know that I support all that you do. I know how it feels. well, I do not know how you feel exactly, but that road has been traveled down by so many. This month will be the anniversy of my Mom's death. It will be 27 years on 30th. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. But in all actually it does not. You will always feel that void. You will always have those thoughts of guilt. There are days that it hurts so much that I just cry. Those days have become few and far between. BUT usually this time of the year is hard for me. We lost her in October and her birthday is in Novemeber. So I kind of get where you are coming from. One thing I want to share with you, and others may not agree, but this is how I feel. I do not agree with those people out there that tell me "You just need to get over and move on." For years and years I worked under that premis. But I was always so miserable. Then I finally figured out, there is no getting over it. There is finding a way of living with it, but no getting over it. Really, how can you get over loosing someone who was so important in your life. I believe that when people try to do that, it just makes it worst. So cry when you feel like it. And at time when you remember stuff that he did that was funny, laugh, there is no harm in that. But always carry him with you. It will make you a better mother. Also another thing, is do not cut yourself off from your husband and kids. They will take a que from you on how to grieve. Do it as a familie. This will make you stronger. As for the new babie, I do not think he is upset over that. He knows you have alot of love to give, and that you need the new babie. And that will not take away from your love for him. You and your family is in my prayers. Tanis,

I wanted to come on and let you know that I support all that you do. I know how it feels. well, I do not know how you feel exactly, but that road has been traveled down by so many. This month will be the anniversy of my Mom’s death. It will be 27 years on 30th. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. But in all actually it does not. You will always feel that void. You will always have those thoughts of guilt. There are days that it hurts so much that I just cry. Those days have become few and far between. BUT usually this time of the year is hard for me. We lost her in October and her birthday is in Novemeber. So I kind of get where you are coming from.

One thing I want to share with you, and others may not agree, but this is how I feel. I do not agree with those people out there that tell me “You just need to get over and move on.” For years and years I worked under that premis. But I was always so miserable. Then I finally figured out, there is no getting over it. There is finding a way of living with it, but no getting over it. Really, how can you get over loosing someone who was so important in your life. I believe that when people try to do that, it just makes it worst. So cry when you feel like it. And at time when you remember stuff that he did that was funny, laugh, there is no harm in that. But always carry him with you. It will make you a better mother. Also another thing, is do not cut yourself off from your husband and kids. They will take a que from you on how to grieve. Do it as a familie. This will make you stronger. As for the new babie, I do not think he is upset over that. He knows you have alot of love to give, and that you need the new babie. And that will not take away from your love for him.

You and your family is in my prayers.

]]> By: Laura http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2009/09/30/honesty/comment-page-8/#comment-28831 Laura Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:18:31 +0000 http://theredneckmommy.com/?p=1408#comment-28831 Wow... 140 comments... girl, you have rocked the blog world. I'm not commenting to TELL you something you don't already know. Your following here has said much of what I have thought. Anything thing you do to get thru grief is good because it is good for YOU and only YOU(as much as it hurts). But know this, your Shalebug is with my Geoffrey & Frac snowmobiling up in those clouds. Marjoram is getting me through the 11 year hurdles I have been avoiding, like throwing crap out and burning stuff (pyro!) Except he will never know the 501's I'm wearing right now were Geoffs ... just couldn't throw 'em away. If you ever see (weep) on my twitter, you'll know I'm thinking of HIM; it never goes away, and there is NOTHING wrong with that... good memories! always... L2 PS... you are a very strong woman, you know that too! Women were built for guilt, and we learn to lessen the load with time, on our own terms, when the time comes. Eventually we discover guilt is an illusion. Keep smiling! ♥ Wow… 140 comments… girl, you have rocked the blog world.
I’m not commenting to TELL you something you don’t already know. Your following here has said much of what I have thought. Anything thing you do to get thru grief is good because it is good for YOU and only YOU(as much as it hurts). But know this, your Shalebug is with my Geoffrey & Frac snowmobiling up in those clouds. Marjoram is getting me through the 11 year hurdles I have been avoiding, like throwing crap out and burning stuff (pyro!) Except he will never know the 501′s I’m wearing right now were Geoffs … just couldn’t throw ‘em away. If you ever see (weep) on my twitter, you’ll know I’m thinking of HIM; it never goes away, and there is NOTHING wrong with that… good memories! always… L2
PS… you are a very strong woman, you know that too! Women were built for guilt, and we learn to lessen the load with time, on our own terms, when the time comes. Eventually we discover guilt is an illusion. Keep smiling! ♥

]]> By: Tuffenuf http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2009/09/30/honesty/comment-page-7/#comment-28743 Tuffenuf Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:57:37 +0000 http://theredneckmommy.com/?p=1408#comment-28743 Look how many people follow your blog, and these are just the ones who comment. You are so loved for your wonderful writing. Hang in there, we are all in this life together. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us in blog-land. Look how many people follow your blog, and these are just the ones who comment. You are so loved for your wonderful writing. Hang in there, we are all in this life together. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us in blog-land.

]]> By: Kyla http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2009/09/30/honesty/comment-page-7/#comment-28742 Kyla Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:07:08 +0000 http://theredneckmommy.com/?p=1408#comment-28742 We'll be here, T. We’ll be here, T.

]]> By: Miss Britt http://www.theredneckmommy.com/2009/09/30/honesty/comment-page-7/#comment-28734 Miss Britt Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:39:45 +0000 http://theredneckmommy.com/?p=1408#comment-28734 While I don't know THIS exact feeling, I know the feeling of needing to step away just to remind yourself how to breathe again. ((((hugs)))) While I don’t know THIS exact feeling, I know the feeling of needing to step away just to remind yourself how to breathe again.

((((hugs))))

]]>