Ever feel the winds of change howl around you and shudder while you try and wrap yourself up with a cloak of denial?
No?
It’s just me? Damn it.
I have never been one to embrace change with open arms. I’m more of a drag-me-kicking-and-screaming into a new situation type of gal. I am innately stubborn when it comes to accepting new things.
This trickles into all aspects of my life. I go to the same restaurants, order the same foods, read the same blogs, buy the same clothes (just in multiple colours) and enjoy the same routine daily.
I am a stalker’s delight, really.
Yet, here I am, knowing that the house of cards I’m building, like the castles in the sand I love to craft, is tilting to the left much like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. One tectonic shift, one strong gust of wind, and everything I love will come crashing down around me.
I hate that feeling.
When I started blogging, years ago already, I never gave much thought to who would be reading me. I never really thought anyone would find this blog in the universe of the Internet; one small little blog in a sea of others. Yet, somehow I have managed to not only build up a readership (and if I could tongue kiss you all, I totally would) but land myself a job based in large part because of the scribbles I post here weekly.
When I started blogging, that long ago evening when I sat in the dark staring at the bright computer screen as my children peacefully slumbered on, my life was a world away from the reality I face today. I was stuck in a pit of grief, unable to see the light to shine myself out. I couldn’t see past the end of my nose through the tears that poured out of my eyes to see clearly into the future, to anticipate just how this blog would impact my life and my family’s life.
I just sat there, in the dark, and clung to the hope that somehow, this thing called blogging would bring me peace; allow me to heal. I was working on instinct alone.
My instincts were right, and over time and with many words poured out to be shared with the invisible community that rallied around to support me, life got better.
(I wish I could say the same for my grammar. Sadly, time and practice has only encouraged more run on sentences, spelling errors and misplaced commas than my English professors would like to see.)
Like my children, my blog is growing up.
(I myself, will never grow up. I will be that old chick down the street who still wears mini skirts and tube tops and tries to shake her wiggling arse booty to the beats of generations past. And I’ll do it with big hair too, dammit.)
But since my kids are growing up, and my blog has expanded into twitter and facebook and now television, I’m wondering if it isn’t time to take the next step in blog world and drop the pseudonyms I’ve saddled on my kids. Perhaps it’s time to unveil them as the people they are and not the characters their blog nomickers make them into.
My children are indifferent. They still argue over which is Fric and which is Frac. The only thing they care about when it comes to this blog is that I don’t write anything that will get them hog-tied and stuffed into a locker.
My husband is not so indifferent, but has softened on the stance since I went on the evening news and admitted my children like to toss knives around.
It’s amazing really, that he lets me have access to the computer.
Does it make a difference, these pseudonyms? Does it provide my children with some invisible shield of security or am I just deluding myself into thinking that, what with all the other media I’ve done in the past?
Does it make a difference to the stories I share, whether I use their real names or their blog names?
Does anyone really care?
Am I the only one who keeps mixing up Fric and Frac?
What is your opinion? Sound off in the comment section. Should I bite the bullet and introduce more reality into my posts or do you prefer I keep things as they are?
Cuz I’m spinning in the wind here, unsure of which direction I should forge ahead with.
The floor is yours. Speak up. Because damn it, I need someone to tell me what to do.
Be my dominatrix for the day would ya?
*post edit: I have a different surname than my husband and children, so I’m not entirely sure that using their real first names will impact the Google when they grow up and apply for jobs. God willing, they apply for jobs. Because if they think they are going to sponge off the good will and fortune of their father and me, they aren’t just delusional they are way optimistic and thereby not my offspring.*
Jamie
I don’t have strong feelings on this – I don’t use my families names in my blog, I have friends that do. I personally don’t feel like your blog is missing anything and I think you might as well be better safe then sorry I say stick with fric and frac.
daysgoby
Ask them. If you don’t know, and the question still keeps whispering around in your head, ask them.
I’m a little backwards on my internet privacy stuff. My children ARE named Cass and Rosey, but my husband has a pseudonym (which arose out of he didn’t KNOW about the blog – when he found out, he didn’t care if I used his name or not, but it’s a habit) and I don’t give out the name of the town I live in.
Although I’m sure there is some way to Google me to find out what colour the undershorts are this morning.
Ask them!
Amber Mc
Do what you wish, dear. I use my son’s real name on my blog… but as others before me said, I’m just a wee blogger. Maybe since your children are older they could make the choice? Guest blog and reveal their names if they so choose?
Melissa
When I first started reading your blog, the words Fric, Frac, and Boo made me giggle.
I like to giggle.
UNLESS your kids names are Maude and Clover, in which case definitely tell me, because I like to howl uproariously even more than I like to giggle.
Neil
While I agree Fric and Frac are not the ideal names if you want to write more “realistic posts,” – since those names sound like something out of Alice in Wonderland — what purpose does it serve anyone to tell us their real names, especially when you have such a large readership. Why not just make up realistic sounding names, which will create that reality? If your son’s name is John, you can tell us it is Joe. Why would we care? We would know him as Joe, and no one would blink. And if one of your friends did find out his name was John — big deal. I used to think you were a straw sucking redneck, but that ain’t really true either, right?
I don’t see how this name aspect really changes much. Also, by using fake names, you can always hide behind the fictional aspect of the story. So, if one day, “John” said, “Mom, what the hell were you writing? I never said that,” you can answer, “I wasn’t quoting you, John. I was writing about “Joe.”
Dick Carlson
Stay with Frick and Frack. No question. The Interwebs is unforgiving.
Becca
I always just though Fric was your girl and Frac your boy. But seriously do what you feel is right. They’ll always be Fric and Frac to me
Avitable
I say go for it and use their real names. As long as Thundershits and Pussnagel don’t mind.
julie@Mommy Said What?
If it ain’t broke…
Velvet Verbosity
Speaking as someone who may never “make it” in blogging because I just can’t get past the let-it-all-hang-out hurdle, AND having two teenagers, I shudder at the thought of exposing one’s children on the blogosphere. I’m just waiting for the Blogarazzi to be officially formed and stalking all of you internet rock-stars as you go about your daily business.
On the other hand, this blog you’ve created has a life of its own now, and is beginning to put you more and more in the public eye. There may be no avoiding it at some point.
I would do what all smart celebrities do though, keep them out of the public eye as much as possible.
Daddy Files
I don’t see the harm in using real names. Because if someone is that delusional and psychotic that they decide to stalk you, they will not be stopped by the fake names. You’re “out there” to the point where anyone with half a brain and an Internet connection could connect the dots.
I like using real names because, in my own humble personal opinion, it lends an air of credibility. Makes it real. That’s what I’m going for, real life. But for others they’re shooting for something else, and that’s fine.
In the end, I don’t really think it matters.
casey
i think with your popularity that there is no harm in using your childrens real names. it’s not like they’re tiny enough to be abducted by a freak calling out their name, etc. besides, we know shale’s name, right? i, for one, am always thoroughly confused trying to remember who is fric and who is frac. lastly, i doubt your writings will disqualify them for employment. more like their own writings would get them into trouble were they to say sensational things via the internet.
xokie
Do what you want. Just keep doing it.
crazyassmomma
i like the pseudonyms. too many psychos these days
girlvaughn
I love Fric and Frac – always makes me smile when I read it.
I would argue that the more “famous” you become the more you may want to protect their identities…
~Monkey
I believe I have seen their names when you linked to another news feature on you. I don’t care. As someone else says, you can’t unring the bell, and I don’t feel like aI relate to the story any less because I don’t know their name.
Pioneer woman refers to them as oldest/youngest girl/boy/punk.
I still feel like I have some idea of their little personalities, insofar as she has represented them.
Don’t do it…not because of some privacy issue, but because it ain’t necessary.
I remember when you used #3 son’s name when he was ill. Frankly, I remember that name, but can’t remember the knickname you gave him–and I’m a loyal reader. I don’t care either way. As for those whe think it adds ‘credibility’… they need to pay attention to all the other words you’re writing and where they are coming from.
Her Bad Mother
well, you know I use my kids’ real names. but it’s really personal preference – and in your case, THEIR preference. If they support it, great – if not, well…
CC
My vote is for no names.
Anyone can find anything on the net if they really know where to look… but don’t make it easy for them. Honestly, you just never know. Privacy is a gift.
This coming from one who had a serious privacy breach and now rarely makes an appearance as the “real me”. I’m also one who teaches kiddies computers and such… we teach them not to share that kind of info easily.
And whichever way you choose… nothing takes away the power of your words and messages.
habanerogal
At this point we know them and love them as Fric and Frac. You kind of own those monikers now. I sure like how they are so wild at dinnertime the knife play segment was hilarious.
Rusti
I love reading about Fric & Frac – although I can’t always keep them straight if not followed up by a he/she type comment – but do whatever you feel like… it won’t change what you’re writing
My husband the cop would argue AGAINST using their real names, but again, personal preference, it’s your blog, not his