Ever feel the winds of change howl around you and shudder while you try and wrap yourself up with a cloak of denial?
No?
It’s just me? Damn it.
I have never been one to embrace change with open arms. I’m more of a drag-me-kicking-and-screaming into a new situation type of gal. I am innately stubborn when it comes to accepting new things.
This trickles into all aspects of my life. I go to the same restaurants, order the same foods, read the same blogs, buy the same clothes (just in multiple colours) and enjoy the same routine daily.
I am a stalker’s delight, really.
Yet, here I am, knowing that the house of cards I’m building, like the castles in the sand I love to craft, is tilting to the left much like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. One tectonic shift, one strong gust of wind, and everything I love will come crashing down around me.
I hate that feeling.
When I started blogging, years ago already, I never gave much thought to who would be reading me. I never really thought anyone would find this blog in the universe of the Internet; one small little blog in a sea of others. Yet, somehow I have managed to not only build up a readership (and if I could tongue kiss you all, I totally would) but land myself a job based in large part because of the scribbles I post here weekly.
When I started blogging, that long ago evening when I sat in the dark staring at the bright computer screen as my children peacefully slumbered on, my life was a world away from the reality I face today. I was stuck in a pit of grief, unable to see the light to shine myself out. I couldn’t see past the end of my nose through the tears that poured out of my eyes to see clearly into the future, to anticipate just how this blog would impact my life and my family’s life.
I just sat there, in the dark, and clung to the hope that somehow, this thing called blogging would bring me peace; allow me to heal. I was working on instinct alone.
My instincts were right, and over time and with many words poured out to be shared with the invisible community that rallied around to support me, life got better.
(I wish I could say the same for my grammar. Sadly, time and practice has only encouraged more run on sentences, spelling errors and misplaced commas than my English professors would like to see.)
Like my children, my blog is growing up.
(I myself, will never grow up. I will be that old chick down the street who still wears mini skirts and tube tops and tries to shake her wiggling arse booty to the beats of generations past. And I’ll do it with big hair too, dammit.)
But since my kids are growing up, and my blog has expanded into twitter and facebook and now television, I’m wondering if it isn’t time to take the next step in blog world and drop the pseudonyms I’ve saddled on my kids. Perhaps it’s time to unveil them as the people they are and not the characters their blog nomickers make them into.
My children are indifferent. They still argue over which is Fric and which is Frac. The only thing they care about when it comes to this blog is that I don’t write anything that will get them hog-tied and stuffed into a locker.
My husband is not so indifferent, but has softened on the stance since I went on the evening news and admitted my children like to toss knives around.
It’s amazing really, that he lets me have access to the computer.
Does it make a difference, these pseudonyms? Does it provide my children with some invisible shield of security or am I just deluding myself into thinking that, what with all the other media I’ve done in the past?
Does it make a difference to the stories I share, whether I use their real names or their blog names?
Does anyone really care?
Am I the only one who keeps mixing up Fric and Frac?
What is your opinion? Sound off in the comment section. Should I bite the bullet and introduce more reality into my posts or do you prefer I keep things as they are?
Cuz I’m spinning in the wind here, unsure of which direction I should forge ahead with.
The floor is yours. Speak up. Because damn it, I need someone to tell me what to do.
Be my dominatrix for the day would ya?
*post edit: I have a different surname than my husband and children, so I’m not entirely sure that using their real first names will impact the Google when they grow up and apply for jobs. God willing, they apply for jobs. Because if they think they are going to sponge off the good will and fortune of their father and me, they aren’t just delusional they are way optimistic and thereby not my offspring.*
Rusti
ps – my husband the cop is also against the use of facebook and myspace… so, you can take his advice with a grain of salt
Bush Babe
I changed my kids names from blog original monikers to ‘fit’ them better as I got into the swing of it all. But I still kept their real names private – let it be their choice when they are old enough. Why not let them choose their own blog names?
BB
Jenera
I use my kids’ names and I have people that stalk me. But I have also limited the use of photos of them on my blog and now very rarely post them. However, I am NOT a stalkers dream. That and I’m ready to shoot and kill and any given point if someone tried to get me or the kids.
I think it is all a personal preference. Fake names have never bothered me.
BusyDad
You can just use my name for one of your kids. I could use the Google notoriety. You scratch my back I scratch yours.
WackyMummy
@BusyDad, I like this idea. Use my name too!
As an aside, I went to google my son’s name, because although I keep my anonymity as tight as I can I still use my son’s first name occasionally in my blog, and all I came up with was a young wrestler. Good enough for me.
Hilly
I don’t have children but if I did, I may worry about their Goggliciousness. If that sort of thing doesn’t worry you at all, then I say go ahead and use their real names. I honestly think it boils down to whatever makes YOU comfortable.
As a reader, I appreciate when someone takes the time to give them pet names or fake names. I’d rather hear about Fric and Frac than DS1 and DS2. I don’t care that I know that “Fric” is a fake name…if “Fric” puts peanut butter in the DVD player, I still laugh.
Zoeyjane
I came for the blow and all I got was this existential crisis.
Annnnyway. If the kids are apathetic and the names don’t quite match, why not giver, maintaining that whole “do not get them pantsed” motto?
If you do, however want to get them pantsed, I suggest an ABOUT page, clearly providing pictures, names, measurements, fears and the dates during which they last wet the bed.
maggie, dammit
I use pseudonyms. Not because I’m worried about them being abducted (I’m not) but because, if it were me, I wouldn’t want to be talked about on the Internet by my MOM, ewwwww.
Yes, I could be projecting, and yes, I’m still talking about them with fake names, but it’s not something their friends/future employers/etc would find by Googling.
Silvana
I personally don’t think it matters either way. It doesn’t bother me that you use nicknames. And if it gives you a sense of security then run with it. =) The internet is not a friendly place. If somebody REALLY wanted to find out their names, they could. But since you said to pick one direction or the other I say stay with Fric and Frac. Your children don’t care, it gives a measure of security, and come on….Fric and Frac is funny =)
Leah
Ah to be a dominatrix for a day… Anyway, I always get the names mixed up but usually you throw in a she and a he later on down the story. I don’t have a blog so I don’t know how much advice I can give. Most of the blogs I read use the real names of at least one of their children. Whatever you feel is best. I love your blog!
BubbleGirl
I don’t use any kinds of names on my blog. Leaving comments on certain blogs is bad enough for me, because I need to leave my e-mail address which is my name. I’ve told a couple of stories recently that involve numerous people, and it gets confusing. In one post I think I referred to someone as “best friend” “lady friend” and “sister” because I called her son my “nephew.” It gets confusing without names, so I might have to give my people blog names so I don’t confuse myself, and my readers.
I vote for Fric and Frac personally, but I’m not Dominant enough to command you.
tony
can’t wrap my little redneck brain around all the pros and cons.
i like the names Fric and Frac
do i still get a tongue kiss?
tier
You mean Fric and Frac aren’t their real names??
Miss Behavin
Well, not that I’ll be much help, but…I use pseudonyms for everyone except my ex-husband.
Diana, The Doggy Mommy
If it ain’t broken don’t fix it! I love Fric & Frac.
Jen_Ann_W
What do THEY think? Since your surname is different I don’t think it would hurt necessarily, but as teens they might object for personal reasons. I’d leave it up to them.
(And yes I totally get them mixed up.)
Calamity Anne
When I started my blog I used everyone’s real names…now I’m doing everything half-assed backwards and using pseudonyms…they sound so much cooler than our real names. By the way…I look forward to your blog, and will continue to read it…but I’ll pass on the tongue kiss!
Charles
Reality sucks. Fric, rrac: can never keep them straight.
I do tongue kisses.
As thye say: whatever floats your boat.
Just keep keeping on.
WackyMummy
On a serious note, you can’t err on the side of anonymity… especially anonymity of a minor…. although if you’re becoming a public persona, that anonymity is a bit more delusional and fleeting than that tongue kiss you so willingly promised us (and I fear I will never see, darn it); and there’s a love already out for the notorious Fric and Frac… changing it will not only uproot the core philosophy of blogworld, it will probably will cause the destruction of the universe.
On the lighter side, it would be interesting to know what their real names are. However, you would be opening yourself up to criticism because “I would never name MY child THAT!!!”
There’s a chance that I’ve written this after too many shots, not enough sleep, sick with the flu, or all of the above.
Chicky Chicky Baby
I’ve been thinking about the same thing lately. I think I might drop the nicknames but my blog is pretty tame compared to yours. Like, coma tame compared to this one.
Mad Woman
I’m kind of diggin’ the Fric & Frac thing. I use pseudonyms as well but only cos I can’t remember their names half the time.