Sometimes, a picture really is worth a thousand words.
I have decided to prove that theory with today’s post.
You see, first there was my Shalebug:
Look at how adorable that kid was. Even when he had to wear a drool bib and his feet were too crooked to fit in shoes and he had to wear slippers everywhere he went, he was still the epitome of cool.
I mean, not everyone can rock the walker like he did and still be sporty chic.
Then there is the Jumbster, my Jumby:
So his feet are turning a wee purple from poor circulation, and he has to be strapped into his walker because he hasn’t quite figured out he has hands come equipped with opposable thumbs, but damn, that kid is one good looking child. As soon as the adoption decree is burning a hole in my hand (soon! very soon!) I’ll take his wig off and shave that beard he’s got growing just so you can see for yourself. But trust me, like his big brother Bug, he’s got it going on in the cute department.
He’s so cool we call him Ice.
Then there is this:
Ya.
Not so cute. My self esteem may never recover. But hopefully my back will.
Somehow I just can’t carry off this look. I think you need to be under four feet tall or over the age of 70. Anything in between and you may as well just pin a Kick Me sign on your ass.
Today’s humiliation post is brought to you by my daddy, who so thoughtfully brought me the Ego-Killing Walker and has commanded me to use it.
I’m not sure he brought it over to be helpful or to be mean. Either way, I’m pretty sure he’s getting the last laugh.
There’s a joke in here somewhere. I think I’m just distracted by my new shiny aluminum handlebars to see it.
Sigh.









Untypically Jia
I think you just need to add streamers on the handles and maybe some flames going up the bars and you’ll carry it off great!
Deb
Totally cute. You just haven’t pimped it out yet. Sharpies, spraypaint. Nail polish!
Lotus
Aaaaand you still manage to be adorable.
Priscilla-wheelchair Mommy
you still rock the hot …. I mean they operated on your back not your boobies. Just wear a low cut shirt and lean forwards more . . .
hahah
muskrat
how the hell you gonna fly to nashville like that?
Susan
Aww chit! Bedazzle the crap out of it!!!
Pimp it out, in pinks and blues, so when you return it, Dad will have quite the remarks goin’ on! LOL!!
Another Kelly
Streamers, a basket, a bicycle bell and a horn will make that walker look badass. Ok, maybe not but at least a little bit better.
mommaruthsays
You need one of those bicycle horns attached to the front so you can toot at people as you creep by!
It’s all in good fun – and all cute!
Suzy Voices
You rock anything you, um…wear? Accessorize with?
zeghsy
all of their suggestions seem to sound good to me.
after my dad’s back surgery, he used a cane. sadly we didn’t get him a super cool one, because he didn’t use it all that long. if he has to have it again, i’m getting him a pimp cane. and a hat. with the feather.
Danielle
You are totally rockn’ the walker!
Linda
Flames. Definately flames. Glad you are up and around.
Bob Devine
@Linda, No! No! No Flames. She is an Oiler fan.
CC
Totally agree that you need the horn… aaOOOgah!!
Dick Carlson
Don’t you have those little motorized scooters up there in the Great White North?
I can totally see you speeding around (with snow chains, of course) on a Lil’ Rascal. You could herd the kids, chase the dog, even put the hubby on the handlebars for a little late-night ride to the bar.
And the TV commercials say people your age can get them at no cost, right?
kdiddy
All I see is one fine-ass lady.
Amo
Baby, you put the “hoar” in hoary. RAWR!
tony
ha ha ha babe your cool factor just bottomed out with that picture. when you get better swap that thing for a stripper pole and they may let you back in the cool club.
Bug and Jumby rock that look but you…not
get well sug
Leah
You totally have to pimp it out. Put some sparkle and fun on it. Don’t forget the green tennis balls for the feet so it glides better!
Mailis
Know what I think?
You could rock it if you would just own it. Right now, that bitch owns you.
Kel - rewritingkel
Have it bedazzled so it looks like a fairy puked on it kinda like you said your daughter did to your cane.